


Trust in Rust

by childishGambino



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bloodplay (extremely minor), Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Casteism, Drama, F/F, FLARP, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Kissing, Like really minor, Minor dubcon?, Pajamas & Sleepwear, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Pre-Sburb/Sgrub, Sleepovers, Sloppy Makeouts, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-27
Updated: 2012-12-27
Packaged: 2017-11-22 15:01:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/611108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/childishGambino/pseuds/childishGambino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aradia Megido is a person who prefers to keep things simple. And yet Terezi Pyrope is a very complicated person, and in spite of that (or perhaps because of it) Aradia finds herself inexplicably drawn to her. But half the Hemospectrum lies between them, and the gap might be too wide to bridge. And even if it isn't, Vriska Serket is a person uniquely qualified to burn bridges.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trust in Rust

**Author's Note:**

  * For [giyeon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/giyeon/gifts).



> The original prompt:
> 
> "(Aradia Megido, Terezi Pyrope, Vriska Serket, Any Relationship)  
> I would love to see the interactions between these three before the series of incidents occurred! I want to know more about their relationships with one another and how they came to be friends and how they began FLARPing together. Gossiping, FLARPing shenanigans, sleepovers--anything that you can come up with to illustrate a connection between these three girls! It can be comedic or angst, anything you wish. Pairings are not needed, but any combination of the three would be fine as well."
> 
> As anyone probably could have guessed, I went completely overboard with the pairings. In fact, I went completely overboard period. Most other people probably would've focused on one of the Vriska relationships, but Aradia/Terezi is an underappreciated pairing I love a lot, so I decided to make that the focus (though there's no shortage of Vriska, don't get me wrong). There are some minor side pairings, including a M/F pairing, which I hope isn't a problem! It only really factors into one pesterlog. Anyway, Ana, hope you love the gift!
> 
> \- M

Once the feeling of abject terror subsides, you'll ultimately conclude that Terezi Pyrope isn't really that bad a person. But that won't happen for another five minutes. Well, five minutes and twenty-five seconds.

Seventeen seconds ago, you'd heard a knock at the door to Sollux's hive, a deliberate and rhythmic _taptaptaptap-tap-taptaptap_. Three seconds ago, you opened the door, a cursory "hello" nearly escaping your lips only to be cut short when you saw the color of the symbol on your visitor's shirt.

Right now, you're wishing you hadn't gotten up seventeen seconds ago.

Sure, she isn't the most physically imposing troll. She's shorter than you by a few inches, and a short, wavy mop of black hair frames her face. Two thin, needle-like horns protrude from the morass at acute angles, almost making her entire head look like an old television set tuned to the channel of her face. Her clothing is much the same as yours, only she wears a pair of black slacks instead of a skirt, and two bright red loafers adorn her feet. She could almost pass for harmless if it weren't for the turquoise symbol on her chest.

Sollux's hivestem isn't in the best neighborhood, and a grand majority of its tenants reside on the bottom few rungs of the hemospectrum. So when a highblood comes around, they usually mean trouble, and even without your psionics, you can tell Terezi Pyrope is trouble. Death clings to her like smoke, and you can barely see her in the haze of her victims, not all of them guilty. If you were thinking clearly, you might have some idea why she was here, but fear overcomes your other senses to the point of paralysis.

She looks at you expectantly, hands clasped behind her back. When you continue to gape at her, she brings a fist to her mouth and clears her throat. "Hi," she starts. "Is Sollux here?"

"Ah, no, he's out," you answer truthfully. He'd headed out on an expedition to the ruins the two of you found a while ago, and he asked you to look after his hive. Well, you volunteered, anyway. Someone had to look after his lusus, after all. Oh, and all of these bees, of course. ( _Who is this girl? Why is she here?_ ) "Why?"

"Oh," the girl responds. Her face is unreadable, but not nearly as unreadable as her mind. She continues, "Well, he promised me something, and I was coming here to pick it up."

Your brow furrows in concern involuntarily. "Promised you what? Does he owe you money or something?" you ask, a little more accusatively than you're comfortable with. ( _What are you doing? You're just going to make her angry._ )

"What? No," she answers, cocking an eyebrow at you quizzically. "Are you alright? You look like you're staring down a culling drone."

You let out a dry laugh. ( _Why are you laughing? What's wrong with you?_ ) "If you were a drone, at least I'd know for certain you were going to kill me. Now I'm just guessing." ( _Why would you say that? Are you insane? She's going to kill you!_ )

But she doesn't kill you. Instead she just laughs, a thrumming tremolo laugh that sends a chill down your spine. It reminds you almost of the bleating of your lusus. ( _That's weird, stop thinking that._ ) She grins a little wider than you think should be possible, revealing a gleaming array of sharp white teeth. "Well, it's a good guess," she finally says, regaining the composure she never really lost, "but I'd prefer to just pick up my husktop with minimal bloodshed, if at all possible."

At the mention of the word "husktop," it hits you. "Oh, right!" you exclaim, smacking your palm against your forehead. "Sollux said one of his Internet friends was coming over to pick up a computer."

"gallowsCalibrator?" she countersigns. "Yeah, that's me."

You know it's her, and looking her in the eyes, you know she knows you know it's her. ( _Stop staring, it's impolite._ ) You shake your head. "Sorry, it just slipped my mind, I guess," you weakly justify, pulling the door open. "Please, come in."

The rest of the encounter passes largely without incident. You advise her to watch her step as you both go deeper into Sollux's cluttered hive, carefully stepping over criss-crossing wires and discarded game grubs. She says it's colorful. You say it's annoying. You're tempted to tidy the place up, but you know he'd just get mad. She laughs and calls him dumb. That earns a laugh from you. ( _He is kind of dumb._ )

"I take it you're AA?" she asks, after what you think is a moment's hesitation. "He talks about you a lot."

"Aradia," you correct her. ( _He talks about you a lot?_ ) "Aradia Megido." ( _He talks to_ her _about you a lot?_ )

"Terezi Pyrope," she counters, extending a hand. "Pleasure to meet you."

Terezi Pyrope.

You grab her hand and give it a firm shake. "Likewise."You guess she isn't really that bad a person.

Though in retrospect, it worries you a little just how hard she laughed at the idea of culling you.

***

It's three days before you think of Terezi Pyrope again. Well, two days and seventeen hours.

The dark season has blessed your entire region with a particularly vicious hailstorm, and the endless torrent of razor-sharp blades of ice conspire to keep you indoors. Your psionics could ward them off for a bit, you suppose, but not long enough to get anywhere. Looks like you're hivebent.

You flip through your FLARP rulebook, hoping you'll be struck by some inspiration for a new campaign, but nothing jumps out at you. You peruse your expansive collection of Troll Harrison Ford films, but you're not in the mood to watch a movie. You crave troll contact. You suppose your only remaining option is the Internet.

After powering on your odd anthropomorphic computer (who's this douchebag, and where are his horns?) and taking a look at the chumproll on Trollian, the situation looks pretty grim. Sollux is online, but his mood is set to Rancorous, indicating he's probably in the middle of a heavy coding/self-loathing binge, and you know better than to interrupt one of those. Nepeta's offline; maybe the weather's better up in the mountains. Tavros is available, though, so you strike up a chat with him. He's caught in the storm, too, and it seems he's occupying his time with one of his old Fiduspawn game grubs. You talk back and forth for a bit, but the conversation trails off after a while. Maybe he's just too invested in his game. You're ok with that, you guess. You've resorted to opening up your Bubblr and scrolling through the archaeology tag when another sort of tag pops into your mind: gallowsCalibrator.

Hmmm.

Bringing up the Trollian window once more, you punch in her name and add her to your chumproll. As luck would have it, she's online. You decide to make the first move, opening a chat window before she gets a chance to react.

apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC].  
  
AA: hell0?  
AA: terezi?  
GC: Y3S  
GC: WHO 1S TH1S?  
GC: W41T  
GC: 1S TH1S 4R4D14?  
AA: yes its me!  
AA: i remembered y0ur tr0llhandle  
AA: and i was b0red s0 i figured id try talking t0 y0u  
GC: H3H3  
GC: YOUR TROLLT4G 1S TH3 S4M3 4S TH3 S4M3 4S SOLLUXS S1LLY TWO L3TT3R N1CKN4M3 FOR YOU  
AA: yes yes i kn0w  
AA: its a c0mplete c0incidence i swear  
GC: OH DO YOU NOW?  
GC: 1 SHOULD W4RN YOU P3RJURY 1S 4 S3R1OUS CR1M3  
AA: im n0t 0n trial here!  
GC: 1LL B3 TH3 JUDG3 OF TH4T!  
AA: will y0u be the executi0ner t00  
GC: Y3S! H3H3H3H3  
AA: 0_0  
GC: NOW L3T M3 CONT1NU3 MY 3X4M1N4T1ON  
GC: WH4T 4R3 YOU UP TO?  
AA: n0thing really  
AA: ive g0t n0thing t0 d0 and im trapped in my hive because 0f this stupid hailst0rm  
GC: OH YOUR3 OUT ON TH3 PL41NS?  
GC: 1 H34RD TH3YR3 G3TT1NG H1T PR3TTY H4RD  
AA: yeah  
AA: its usually pretty safe 0ut here  
AA: but the weather pretty much d0es whatever the hell it wants  
GC: 1 GU3SS SO  
AA: s0 anyway im b0red and n0b0dys 0nline  
AA: well except s0llux but it l00ks like hes in 0ne 0f his m00ds again  
GC: OH BOY  
GC: 1 KNOW HOW H3 G3TS SOM3T1M3S >;/  
AA: yeah  
AA: but then i remembered y0ur tr0llhandle and here we are!  
GC: SO 1M YOUR L4ST R3SORT, HUH?  
AA: pretty much  
AA: n0 0ffense 0_0  
GC: H3H3, 1TS F1N3  
AA: tavr0s is 0ccupied en0ugh with s0mething  
AA: and nepeta isnt 0nline at all im n0t really sure why  
GC: N3P3T4?  
GC: 4S 1N N3P3T4 L31JON?  
AA: yes!  
AA: d0 y0u kn0w her?  
GC: Y34H, SH3S PR4CT1C4LLY MY B3ST FR13ND!  
GC: SH3S N3V3R M3NT1ON3D YOU THOUGH  
AA: shes never menti0ned y0u either  
GC: W3LL NOW  
GC: 1 JUST M1GHT H4V3 TO  
GC: 1NT3RROG4T3 H3R 4BOUT TH1S >:]  
AA: n0 i think i get why  
AA: she was pr0bably just l00king 0ut f0r me  
AA: since im a rustbl00d and y0ure a bluebl00d and all  
GC: HRM  
GC: YOU DONT C4R3 MUCH FOR H1GHBLOODS, DO YOU?  
AA: im a little leery 0f any0ne wh0 can kill me with n0 repercussi0ns whats0ever  
GC: H3H3H3H3, F41R 3NOUGH  
AA: but y0u seem 0k i guess  
AA: the 0nly 0ther bluebl00d i kn0w is nepetas m0irail  
GC: OH GOD, TH4T GUY  
GC: H3S SUCH 4 CR33P  
AA: hes a sn0b is what he is!  
AA: i cant stand that guy  
AA: hes always b0thering me f0r s0me reas0n i d0nt even kn0w why  
GC: H3S PR3TTY T3RR1BL3  
GC: 4ND SUCH 4 SPO1LSPORT TOO  
GC: H3 N3V3R L3TS N3P3T4 DO 4NY ROL3PL4Y1NG W1TH M3  
GC: 1 M34N 1TS NOT L1K3 1M GO1NG TO DR4G H3R 4LONG ON ON3 OF MY FL4RP1NG S3SS1ONS OR SOM3TH1NG  
AA: 0h!  
AA: y0u flarp?  
GC: OF COURS3 1 FL4RP!  
GC: 1M H4LF OF TH3 D34DL13ST FL4RP1NG T34M 3V3R TO PL4GU3 TH3 F4C3 OF 4LT3RN14  
GC: T34M SCOURG3! >:]  
AA: 0h  
AA: well ive never heard 0f y0u  
GC: OF COURS3 YOU H4V3NT  
GC: 1F YOU 3V3N KN3W OUR N4M3  
GC: YOU WOULD UND3RST4ND T3RROR NO TROLL 3V3R H4S  
GC: FOR TH4T N4M3 1S KNOWN ONLY TO OUR M3MB3RS  
GC: 4ND TH3 DOOM3D  
AA: 0_0  
GC: BUT DONT WORRY  
GC: W3 ONLY K1LL P3OPL3 WHO R34LLY D3S3RV3 1T  
GC: MURD3R3RS, TR41TORS, TH4T K1ND OF TH1NG  
AA: is that all  
AA: i th0ught there were a few m0re  
GC: >:?  
GC: WH4T DO YOU M34N  
AA: 0h right  
AA: im a psi0nic  
AA: i see dead pe0ple  
AA: its kind 0f my thing  
GC: OH GR34T, 4NOTH3R PS1ON1C  
AA: s0rry  
GC: W3LL, M4YB3 W3 H4V3 4 F3W L3SS TH4N D3S3RV1NG V1CT1MS  
GC: BUT THOS3 4R3 MOSTLY VR1SK4S F4ULT  
GC: SH3 PL4YS 1T F4ST 4ND LOOS3 W1TH TH3 L4W SOM3T1M3S TO K33P H3R LUSUS F3D  
AA: vriska?  
GC: TH3 OTH3R H4LF OF T34M SCOURG3  
GC: 1D C4LL H3R MY P4RTN3R 1N CR1M3, BUT SH3 DO3S 4LL TH3 CR1M3 FOR TH3 BOTH OF US  
GC: HON3STLY  
GC: 1 DONT TH1NK YOUD L1K3 H3R >:/  
AA: y0ure j0king right  
AA: she s0unds like a saint  
GC: H3H3H3  
GC: SH3S K1ND OF 4N 4CQU1R3D T4ST3  
GC: 1M SUR3 TH3R3S 4 D3C3NT P3RSON UND3R 4LL TH4T T3RR1BL3  
AA: haha  
GC: SO DO YOU FL4RP TOO?  
AA: yeah!  
AA: me and tavr0s d0 it s0metimes  
AA: n0t as much recently th0ugh  
AA: a while ag0 a few highbl00ds crashed a big meet and killed a bunch 0f pe0ple  
AA: i heard 0ne 0f them was a seadweller actually  
GC: WHO4  
AA: yeah  
AA: i ended up skipping that meet f0r a dig  
AA: and thankfully tavr0s didnt g0 either  
AA: i pr0bably c0uldve made it 0ut 0f there myself but im n0t s0 sure ab0ut him  
GC: T4VROS  
GC: 1S H3 COOL?  
AA: yeah hes 0k  
AA: pr0bably 0ne 0f the nicest tr0lls i kn0w  
AA: hes a psi0nic like me but his p0wers are a little m0re es0teric  
AA: n0t as useful in a strife  
AA: anyway hes friends with nepeta t00  
GC: HMMM  
GC: W3LL H3Y  
GC: 1F YOUR3 R34LLY HUNGRY FOR 4 G4M3  
GC: YOU COULD PL4Y W1TH US!  
AA: 0h  
AA: that might be c00l i guess!  
GC: SUR3 1T WOULD!  
GC: 1 DONT H4V3 4NY OTH3R FR13NDS WHO FL4RP  
GC: SO 1TD B3 COOL TO H4V3 SOM3BODY 1 COULD H4V3 4 FR13NDLY M4TCH W1TH 3V3RY NOW 4ND TH3N  
AA: that s0unds great!  
AA: tavr0s and i d0nt really have any0ne else t0 flarp with either since  
AA: well  
AA: since they all g0t killed 0_0  
GC: Y34H >:/  
GC: 1 WONT K1LL YOU GUYS THOUGH, 1 PROM1S3  
GC: W3LL, UNL3SS YOU TRY 4NYTH1NG FUNNY, OF COURS3  
AA: 0f c0urse  
GC: OH 4ND  
GC: YOULL H4V3 TO PL4Y W1TH VR1SK4  
AA: 0h n0  
AA: that might be a deal breaker  
GC: OH COM3 ON, YOUV3 N3V3R 3V3N SPOK3N TO H3R  
AA: yeah and i already d0nt like her  
AA: what d0es that tell y0u  
GC: TH4T YOUR3 P4R4NO1D  
GC: R3M3MB3R WH3N YOU F1RST M3T M3?  
GC: YOU THOUGHT 1 W4S GO1NG TO CULL YOU  
AA: that was a perfectly fair assumpti0n!  
GC: JUST G1V3 H3R 4 CH4NC3  
GC: SH3S NOT TH4T B4D, 1 SW34R  
AA: im n0t w0rried ab0ut her pers0nality  
AA: im w0rried ab0ut my pers0nal safety  
AA: and f0r tavr0s f0r that matter  
GC: LOOK, DONT WORRY 4BOUT 1T  
GC: 1 KNOW HOW TO D34L W1TH H3R, OK4Y?  
GC: 1 WONT L3T H3R K1LL 31TH3R OF YOU, 1 PROM1S3

A chill runs down your spine. You stare at nothing in particular, losing track of time for a moment.

GC: 4R4D14?  
GC: YOU ST1LL TH3R3?  


The pinging of Trollian jolts you back into reailty. You shake your head.

AA: 0k sure  
AA: ill give it a sh0t  
GC: GR34T! >:]  
GC: WH3N DO YOU W4NT TO M33T UP?  
AA: i think the weathers supp0sed t0 clear up t0m0rr0w  
AA: h0w d0es n00n s0und?  
GC: TH4T WORKS  
GC: H3Y, YOU KNOW TH4T B1G CL34R1NG 4BOUT 4 M1L3 W3ST OF N3P3T4S H1V3?  
GC: WH4T DO YOU S4Y W3 M33T UP TH3R3?  
AA: s0unds g00d  
GC: 3XC3LL3NT  
GC: TH3N 1TS 4 D4T3!

You are almost entirely certain she meant that in the temporal sense.

***

Of course, your conversation with Terezi didn't end there. It meandered long into the night. Well, three hours and twenty-one minutes of it. Together, the two of you navigated a plethora of topics as diverse as it was engaging. She told you about her interest in law, and you told her about your interest in archaeology. She told you about an ancient historical figure who was the subject of her veneration, and you swore you remembered finding a statuette of her on one of your digs. She called you a liar, and you told her you'd dig the thing out of your enormous pile of unbelievably shitty relics just to prove her wrong. You tell her about the time a beehouse mainframe fell on Sollux and he ended up having to burn his clothes, and she gives you all the dirt on Nepeta's most recent updates to her shipping wall-including the increasingly frustrated scribbles around you and Sollux. You decide you'd rather avoid that particular topic of conversation.

As you sat transfixed on the blocks of teal text piling up on your screen, time passed less like sand and more like water, and you found it difficult to pull yourself away. And when she finally signs off, you find yourself wanting more. To talk more, you mean. You can't get a good read on her; her mind is unassailable by your psionics, and getting an honest thought out of her through conversation isn't much easier. She masks herself under a facade of detached humor, but you feel like she does so not to hide her true face, but to protect it. Really, you find her to be a very fasc... _intriguing_ person.

You're still wary of her, of course, and with good reason. A full four ranks of the hemospectrum stand between you, and each makes even knowing her an increasingly calculated risk. Ultimately, your thoughts on Terezi Pyrope are a very complicated thing.

You don't like Vriska Serket. You like that some things can be simple.

She squanders her first impression without even speaking to you. As you and Tavros approach the large tree stump by which the four of you agreed to meet, you see her sneer and look over to her partner. "Terezi, you didn't tell me they were going to be a couple of rustbloods." That's strike one. At strike three, you do nothing. At strike seven, you stop counting.

You consider informing her you can hear her for precisely a quarter of a second. In that time, you deduce that she probably already knows that. When you furrow your brow at her, you see the corner of her mouth turn up just so. Okay, she _definitely_ already knew. Then Terezi smacks her on the arm and tells her to shoosh. Now you're the one smirking, and Vriska's the one scowling.

Terezi just ignores her. "Aradia! So nice to see you again," she says, extending a hand, which you grab and give a quick shake. "Hopefully under less tense circumstances this time."

"We'll see about that," you reply, briefly leering over at Vriska. Terezi lets out a dry laugh in response. You quickly change the subject. "How's the husktop working?"

"Perfectly!" she answers enthusiastically. "My clouding machine's been out of date for a while, so this upgrade was just what I needed!" She slowly snakes her hand out of your grasp, the tips of her fingers gently brushing against your palm (or did you just imagine that?), and offers it to your partner. "And you're Tavros, I take it? Terezi Pyrope."

Tavros takes her hand and shakes it limply. "Terezi, nice to, uh, meet you," he says, stumbling as the weight of Vriska's glare falls upon him. She looks unimpressed at first, but when she catches sight of the symbol on his shirt, something in her look changes. You see the glint of something in her eyes, something almost predatory, and you don't like it. You give her a dirty look and shift on your feet a little, trying to interpose yourself between the two of them as subtly as possible.

Seeing your glare, Vriska tears her eyes away from Tavros and returns it for a moment, then looks over to her partner. "I don't know, Terezi," she says disdainfully, "you really think these two peasants are strong enough to FLARP with Team Scourge? They look like a couple of straw-chewing grain cultivators." Strike two.

"We're more than good enough," you answer defiantly, baring your teeth a little. "For your information, Tavros and I are the best FLARPing team in our entire region!"

Vriska rolls her eyes at you (and you'd swear the middle pupil in her left eye rolls itself at you, too). "Wow, very impressive," she remarks, taking a step forward and looming over you by a few inches. You don't back down. "Listen, you may be the biggest fish in your little pond, but you're swimming with sharks here." As if to illustrate her point, she gives you a wicked grin, showing off her prominent fangs. Even though you just met her, you'd like nothing more than to knock a few of them out with your bare hands.

"Both of you, please!" Terezi interjects, sticking her cane between the two of you and pushing Vriska back. "This is not a high stakes life-or-death competition or anything like that. We are all just here to have a good time."

"And how are we gonna do that if we have to play with these losers?" Vriska asks. Strike three. You do nothing. Tavros looks like he's about to say something, but doesn't.

"Oh, shush!" Terezi replies, giving her a playful bap in the gut with her cane. "Just give them a chance, Vriska. I'm sure they'll keep up with us just fine. Who knows, you might even have fun!"

Vriska rolls her eyes again. "Ugh, fiiiiiiiine." You still don't like her.

Seeing that the matter has been resolved, Terezi turns to her husktop resting on the stump. "Okay, since Vriska and I are the ones hosting this little meetup, we'll be clouding for you! We both have our own little scenarios prepared."

Tavros pipes up, "Oh, so do we, get to..."

" _We_ went to the trouble of planning all this," Vriska cuts him off, "so _we_ get to pick who we're clouding for." She looks between the two of you for a moment. "Okay, tell you what," she says, trying to sound nonchalant, "Terezi, you take the hairy one, and I'll take bighorns here."

"What?!" you shout without really thinking. She doesn't seriously think you're about to leave Tavros alone with her, does she? "Why do you want to cloud for him?"

"Um, none of your business?" Vriska answers, clearly on the defensive. "Why, do you desperately want me to be your clouder or something?"

You step between her and Tavros. "No, I just don't want to abandon Tavros to the whims of some blueblood who I just met, who for all I know is a complete psychopath!"

"Aradia," Terezi cuts in once more, "are you sure about this? I mean, when I designed my scenario, I kind of had you in mind." She sounds almost hurt.

You sigh. "Maybe next time, Terezi," you say to her, then turn back to Vriska. "But right now, I need to see if your _friend_ here can be trusted."

Vriska just laughs. "Alright, fine, Megido. If you want to play with me so badly, then we can play." She turns to grab her husktop and adds, "Just don't go crying to Terezi if it turns out I'm too much for you to handle."

You don't remember telling her your last name.

***

There are a few things you've established about Vriska Serket.

One, she doesn't like you. That's probably for the best, considering you don't like her either.

Two, she cheats.

Perhaps not explicitly, but you can't help but notice as you get into your FLARPing session that the enemy encounters you've been fighting are a lot more challenging than they should be for someone of your level. As you transition from one fight to the next (of course, there's nothing to the module but one fight after another; that's the third thing, she's not terribly creative), you inform her of this.

"What's the matter, Megido? Is my scenario too challenging for you?" she asks through your headset, with sincerity so obviously fake it's insulting. "Would you prefer to parley with all these zombies, and then sit down and have a little magic tea party with them?"

Four, she's not a very good sport. Througout the entire adventure, she laughs whenever you get hit, and curses to herself whenever you end up conquering one of her overpowered formations.

"I'd prefer if you designed the encounters properly," you answer, trying not to get mad, "instead of exploiting every rules loophole you can to make them as difficult as possible."

"Hey, if they didn't want people to design encounters like this, they'd make it impossible! Obviously, this is how they're _supposed_ to be designed. It's called 'system mastery,' Megido."

Five, she has a very skewed sense of judgment.

When you just roll your eyes in response, she laughs. "I bet you're wishing you let me have Tavros right about now, huh?"

"No," you answer immediately.

"Ugh," she responds. "So protective. Honestly, what's your deal with him?"

"What's _your_ deal with him?" you ask her right back. "I saw the way you were looking at him before."

"Wow, what? Haha, Aradia, what are you even talking about?" It sounds like you've struck a nerve. You smirk.

"What, are you into him or something? I don't think you're his type."

"Of course I'm not into him! God, fuck off!" You just laugh. You feel an angry lance of psionic energy attempting to pierce your think pan, but you effortlessly repulse it. (That's the sixth thing: she's a psionic, which is unusual among highbloods, but not completely unprecedented. You'd be intimidated, but your own powers are strong enough that she can't really affect you.) "God, I wish I'd stuck with Tavros, if only because it'd mean I didn't have to talk to you!"

"You don't have to talk at all," you inform her. "Why don't you try shutting up?"

Vriska groans. "God, I have no idea what she sees in you."

"Likewise."

The seventh thing is perhaps the most baffling: she likes Terezi, and for reasons you can't possibly imagine, Terezi likes her too. Why would she want to be friends with such a grating, narcissistic lunatic? You don't understand. But then, you don't really understand Terezi, either.

"Okay, stop wasting my time and get on to the next fight! Those eight giant spiders aren't going to grotesquely maim themselves! Though if I'm lucky, they'll do that to you."

For reasons you'd rather not say, you decide to stop counting at seven.

***

It's been five days since that disaster of a FLARPing session (well, four days, nineteen hours, and forty-one minutes), and since then, you have attended two more. And thankfully, in neither of those those sessions were you paired off with Vriska. You were, of course, nervous that she might be making Tavros even more miserable than you were, but Terezi assures you that she's taken steps to ensure Vriska's clouding style wouldn't be quite as adversarial. And Tavros hasn't complained too much. In fact, as hard as it is to believe, he tells you he's actually been having _fun_. (You're not sure how much you believe him; Vriska could easily just be threatening him into silence, and that's a little more believable to you.)

But more importantly, in the last two sessions, you were paired up with Terezi, and you have been having a _blast_.

Your first session was the one she had originally prepared for you. It's a classic dungeon crawl, taking place in a tomb-an obvious setting for you, given your class, but you've never once been disappointed to defile a hallowed tomb, and you're not about to make an exception.

( _"I'm still not entirely solid on what a tomb actually is," Terezi admits to you. "All I know is it's an old structure filled with priceless artifacts and dead bodies."_

_"That's a pretty good summary," you reply as you look around, taking in the surrounding ruins. "There's a little more to it than that, but corpses and treasure are the general gist of it."_

_"Well, do tell!" Terezi says excitedly. "I've always seen them in movies and stuff, and I always wondered what the point of them was."_

_You smile. You love talking about archaeology to anyone who will listen, so you're more than happy to inform her. "Well," you start, taking a deep breath, "in ancient times, particularly opulent and eccentric trolls, usually highbloods, were concerned that their enemies would do ignominious things to their corpses after they died. So they constructed these vaults to contain their corpses after their death. The idea was that following their demise, a loved one, usually a matesprit or moirail, would transport their remains into the structure, and then activate a series of traps in order to protect it."_

_"They wanted to protect their bodies after death?" Terezi asks, mulling over the idea. "Why would they care about that? They're dead."_

_You shrug. "Nobody really knows. It's probably just a particular blend of dementia and narcissism that made them think it was so important. At least, that's what most anthropologists believe."_

_"Well, it seems like an awful waste," Terezi concludes, "just leaving their corpses in a closet to rot for eternity. People could use those for stuff, you know." After a moment, she adds, "Oh, and all that treasure! What's the deal with that?"_

_"Ah, right, the treasure," you say, stroking your chin thoughtfully. "Most people think they kept it mostly for the same reasons, just to spite their rivals. But there's this one little oddball theory that I've always liked."_

_"And what's that?" Terezi asks, genuinely interested. Or at least as genuine as she ever is._

_"Well, as the theory goes, the treasure isn't there to be protected at all," you answer, pausing for dramatic effect. "It's there as bait."_

_You swear you can hear her raise her eyebrow over the headset. "Bait, you say?"_

_"See, the idea was that the valuable goods would lure hapless adventurers into the tomb, where they would be horrifically killed by the various traps therein. And then after they died, they would rise once more as the undead, thus serving as yet another hazard."_

_"Aha!" Terezi laughs. "So the treasure lures them to their deaths and turns them into another line of defense." You nod. "Hmmm... and as more adventurers joined the legion of undead defenders, the legend of the tomb would continue to grow, thus attracting exponentially more!"_

_"Exactly!" you say, thrilled that she can keep up. "It's really quite a brilliant theory. Assuming, of course, it's at all true."_

_"Psh, don't let that stop you," Terezi urges you. "The craziest theories are always the most fun anyway."_

_"I agree wholeheartedly," you concur, then break out your whip and let it hang loose at your side. "Anyway, let's get this show on the road."_

_"By all means," Terezi says, and you advance into the darkness of the tomb._ )

But you were pleasantly surprised with the experience. The classic tomb scrabble is hard to screw up, but it's hard to make one exceptional for most of the same reasons. But Terezi definitely pulled through, The battles were smartly designed, a number of encounters with mindless skeletons, fascistic blueblood thugs, and giant slitherbeasts (you _hate_ slitherbeasts!) that were challenging without being unfair. But more importantly, they were balanced with a greater number of clever puzzles and fiendish traps-at one point, you even got to outrun a giant rolling boulder! You've always wanted to do that.

( _You retrace about half of your steps back out of the tunnel at a breakneck sprint, resisting the urge to use your psionics only because you know it wouldn't be as much fun. The rumbling of the boulder chasing after you is mostly drowned out by Terezi loudly vocalizing the Trolliana Jones theme into your headset. "Duuun da-dun duuuuun, duuun da-duuuuuuuun! Duuun da-dun duuuuun, duuun da duuun duuun duuun!" You are terrified for your life, and your face hurts from grinning so widely._

_At last the tunnel reunited with the hallway it was originally bored out of, and you quickly dive ninety degrees to your right. The boulder follows quickly behind, smashing through the opposite wall. Terezi laughs and cheers into your ears. You lie on the ground a bit longer, the cool stone floor of the tomb comforting against your overexerted flesh, before you push yourself back up. After taking a moment to dust yourself off, you grab the microphone on your headset. "Terezi."_

_"Yes, Aradia?" Terezi responds expectantly._

_"That... was_ awesome _!"_

_Terezi laughs her usual thrumming laugh. You've grown thoroughly accustomed to the sound. You can't believe you were scared the first time you heard it. "I thought you might enjoy it, given your taste in cinema."_

_"Haha, yeah, I've always wanted to do that," you admit. "It was even more fun than I'd always imagined it would be!"_

_"Yeah, well, don't just stand there, or I'll send another boulder your way."_

_Your eyes light up. "You will?"_

_"No."_

_"Awww."_

_"Anyway, get moving," Terezi urges you. "Maybe you can find something in the vicinity that's changed ever so subtly." She clears her throat._

_"Oh, right!" you exclaim, heading for the newly-formed gaping hole in the wall. "If I've got the architecture right, this should lead to... aha!" Sure enough, the opening leads to a room you'd formerly visited which was divided by a great chasm (which now has the giant boulder tightly wedged into it), on the side that was formerly inaccessible. This was noteworthy mostly because of the stone pedestal that sat in the middle of this side, atop which rested a tall, slender tube. You didn't know exactly what it was, but your adventurer's guile told you one thing: it was treasure._

_You slowly approach the pedestal, eyeing the tube greedily. "Is this another trap?" you ask. "Do I need to get a bag of sand for this one?"_

_"Aradia, please," Terezi says condescendingly, "I know enough about Trolliana Jones to know the rolling boulder comes_ after _the trapped altar. I don't have enough room to stuff any more traps in here."_

_"That's true," you admit, but only after your adventurer's guile affirms the notion. Still, that's no reason to let your guard down. You freeze by the pedestal and lift the tube from it as quietly as you can, trying to hear if it triggers any sort of mechanism, but you hear only silence. Terezi laughs at you a little, but you tell her to shut up. You take a closer look at the tube; it's about two feet long and made of hard plastic, with a pop-off cap at the top end._

_"Open it," Terezi insists._

_You pop the cap off and tilt the tube sideways, sliding out a long roll of glossy paper, probably a poster. You set the tube back down to unroll it, and sure enough, it's a promotional piece for one of the Trolliana Jones movies-the second one, with the temple full of crazy cultists, and your personal favorite. "Oh, cool!" you say, taking a moment to admire Troll Harrison Ford in all his rugged, semi-bare-chested glory. "I love this movie, this is great!"_

_"Take a closer look," Terezi implores you, her voice heavy with anticipation. You comply, but you don't see anything distinguishing it from any of the other copies of this poster you've seen... except for something in the bottom right corner, scrawled in black ink. No, it couldn't be..._

_"Terezi, is this..." You blink once or twice, thinking your eyes might be deceiving you, but it's still there. "Is this Troll Harrison Ford's signature?"_

_Terezi laughs triumphantly. "An excellent deduction, Miss Megido!" she proclaims. "That's precisely what it is."_

_You push the poster away from yourself, afraid you might be besmirching it just by breathing on it. "You're... you're not giving this to me, are you?" you stammer in disbelief._

_"Sure I am," she answers. "The whole reason you raid a tomb in the first place is for treasure, isn't it?"_

_"But this is too much!" you tell her. "I mean, this is priceless! You can't just give something like this away! It belongs in a museum!" Wow, you didn't even consciously mean to make that reference._

_"It belongs with somebody who'll appreciate it," Terezi corrects you. "That thing's been sitting in my hive for perigees now. I pilfered it off some psycho oliveblood with a thing for collecting movie memorabilia. I figure it should go to someone who will at least pin it up."_

_"Pin it up? Are you kidding me? I'll have it framed!" you assure her. "But... you're seriously just going to let me have this?"_

_"Yes, Aradia," Terezi answers. "Just take the dumb poster already."_

_You giggle. "Well, okay," you say, rolling the poster back up and carefully returning it to its case. "But... thank you, Terezi! I'm not sure how I can repay you for this."_

_"You're welcome," Terezi replies, "but you don't have to repay me. It's a gift."_

_"I know, but still," you stand your ground, "I can't just take something like this and not give you something back in return. I'll pay you back somehow, I swear!"_

_"Well, if you insist," Terezi relents. "You can start by getting back to the adventure. There's still plenty more left to explore!"_

_"That's right!" You quickly captchalogue the poster case and make sure your fedora is on straight before breaking out your whip. "And Aradia Megido isn't one to leave a tomb half-scrabbled! Let's go!" Terezi laughs and begins humming the Trolliana Jones theme once more as you confidently stride back to the center of the tomb._ )

And, of course, Terezi herself was an excellent clouder, driving the scenario with her lively narration, gasping dramatically whenever you brushed with peril and cheering wildly whenever you conquered one of her obstacles. She was always fair and helpful in her rulings, but never went too easy on you (which you and Tavros were occasionally guilty of doing with each other). And the treasure. The treasure! Fantastic. (You said you'd get it framed, and you did.)

Overall, your first time with Terezi Pyrope was everything you'd hoped it would be.

FLARPing. Your first time FLARPing.

So naturally, you had to get her back for it. She said you'd be clouding for her next time, and you said you'd cook up a scenario at least as great as hers was. So you spent the entirety of the next day plotting the perfect campaign (well, all but an hour and twenty-six minutes of it, but a girl has to eat). You consulted Sollux and Nepeta both, interrogating them about Terezi's interests and grilling them for anything of interest you could include in one of your encounters.

(AA: s0 y0u r0leplay with her a l0t?  
AC: :33 < oh yes, most purrtainly! *ac says, batting at the hem of aas skirt*  
AC: :33 < its purrobably the thing we do together the most  
AA: thats great!  
AA: s0 what kind 0f stuff d0es terezi like r0leplaying ab0ut?  
AC: :33 < well *ac scratches her lower chin in d33p thought*  
AC: :33 < her favorite thing of all is law stuff  
AC: :33 < she loves purrtending to be a legislacerator and getting to the bottom of mysterious crimes  
AC: :33 < and then dispensing justice to the guilty!  
AA: 0f c0urse  
AC: :33 < do you know about her character, neophyte redglare?  
AA: yes she menti0ned her  
AA: she thinks shes her ancest0r apparently  
AA: 0r at least she has the same sign  
AC: :33 < yes! that is the character she purrobably plays the most  
AC: :33 < and i am her highly est33med pouncellor, securing all sorts of impurrtant legal documents and things fur her *ac bows with a flourish of her pouncellors cane*  
AC: :33 < but she plays as other things too sometimes  
AC: :33 < like dragons!  
AA: drag0ns?  
AC: :33 < yes of course! she is just crazy about dragons  
AC: :33 < she loves them fur all their mightiness and majesty!  
AC: :33 < though purrsonally i think cats are a little mightier and more majestic *ac licks her paw proudly*  
AC: :33 < *then hastily adds* just dont tell her i said that!  
AA: haha d0nt w0rry  
AA: y0ur secrets safe with me  
AC: :33 < h33 h33, thank you! *ac blows you a kiss*  
AA: *aa dextr0usly snatches the kiss 0ut 0f the air and stashes it in her adventurers rucksack*  
AA: *she will later d0nate it t0 a museum where future generati0ns will be able t0 appreciate its hist0rical value f0r centuries t0 c0me*  
AA: anyway thank y0u nepeta  
AA: all 0f this inf0rmati0n will pr0ve t0 be very useful  
AC: :33 < *ac scrunches her nose* fur what?  
AA: well t0m0rr0w im g0ing t0 be cl0uding f0r terezi  
AA: and yesterday she planned 0ut a really awesome adventure f0r me  
AA: s0 n0w i have t0 make 0ne f0r her thats even better!  
AC: :33 < oh of course!  
AC: :33 < that is so cool, i wish i could flarp with her *ac pouts about her silly sweaty meowrail*  
AA: irs pr0bably f0r the best  
AA: terezi is a l0t 0f fun and all  
AA: but her partner  
AA: ugh  
AC: :33 < yeah, thats why equius wont let me do it :((  
AC: :33 < but thats great that you get to do it with her!  
AA: yeah i kn0w  
AA: but its kind 0f a l0t 0f resp0nsibility!  
AA: she set a really high bar and itll be really hard f0r me t0 exceed  
AC: :33 < you dont really have to exc33d it you know!  
AC: :33 < whatefur you do shell purrobably have fun  
AA: n0 y0u d0nt understand  
AA: last night was just really amazing  
AA: it was pr0bably 0ne 0f the best nights 0f my life!  
AA: s0 i really have t0 make it up t0 her  
AA: ive g0t t0 pull 0ut all the st0ps here  
AA: and everything has t0 g0 perfectly  
AA: i have t0 make the best flarping scenari0 p0ssible and just c0mpletely bl0w her away!  
AA: i 0we her at least that much  
AC: :33 < wow!  
AC: :33 < aradia i have to say, you sound purretty taken with her!  
AA: um i guess  
AA: shes really c00l and smart and funny and i want t0 be friends with her i guess  
AC: :33 < yes, furiends  
AC: :33 < or maybe *ac wags her tail deviously*  
AC: :33 < something more????  
AA: what  
AC: :33 < oh yes that would be great!  
AC: :33 < i nefur thought about it, but you two would be purrfect together  
AC: :33 < i cant believe i didnt s33 it earlier!  
AC: :33 < you could be meowrails, or maybe even matespurrits!!  
AA: what!!!  
AA: nepeta its n0t like that!  
AA: i just want t0 be friends with her thats all!  
AA: i never even th0ught 0f her r0mantically  
AC: :33 < r333333ally???  
AC: :33 < beclaws you s33m pawfully interested in impurressing her!  
AA: well yeah  
AA: but i just want t0 get her back f0r last night  
AA: thats it  
AC: :33 < well the way you k33p talking about it, it sounds like youre planning a date or something  
AA: its n0t a date!  
AA: its just a flarping sessi0n thats all  
AC: :33 < well, i say it is a purrfect ship, and i think you should at least consider it!  
AC: :33 < and then whatefur quadrant you end up filling with her, you can fill the other one with sollux!  
AA: im n0t filling a quadrant with either 0f them!  
AA: g0d y0u are s0 ridicul0us

AA: s0 can y0u get me the files?  
TA: aa, look at who you are talkiing two, and then thiink about the que2tiion you're a2kiing.  
TA: ii'm 2ollux fuckiing captor, ii can get pretty much any goddamned fiile ii plea2e, that ii2 liike the thiing ii'm alway2 doiing, gettiing fiile2.  
TA: hackiing iintwo computer2 ii2 liike the thiing ii'm de2iigned two do, liike how bee2 are de2iigned for gatheriing honey, and the only other thiing they can do ii2 break theiir poiinty a22 off iintwo 2ome angry mammal and then bleed two death out of the gapiing hole where iit u2ed two be.  
TA: and my a22 ii2 pretty poiinty, you of all people 2hould know thii2.  
AA: w0w 0k  
AA: it was just a simple questi0n  
TA: yeah, you know "2iimple" ii2 2ynonymou2 wiith "2tupiid," riight?  
AA: hey!  
AA: n0w y0ure just being rude  
TA: wow, FUCK, ii kiind of am, you diid pretty much fuck all two de2erve any of that.  
TA: 2orry, ii'm ju2t 2uch an enormou2 a22hole that ii gue22 ii ju2t can't control iit.  
AA: y0ure n0t an assh0le s0llux  
AA: but y0u seem really stressed 0ut lately f0r s0me reas0n  
AA: is s0mething wr0ng?  
TA: not really, except for the iine2capable fact that we're all goiing two diie, but that'2 old new2.  
TA: but iit 2eem2 liike the voiice2 are gettiing louder for 2ome rea2on.  
AA: hmm  
AA: i feel like mine might be getting l0uder t00  
AA: but i think thats just h0w the v0ices w0rk  
AA: every day m0re tr0lls are hatched and m0re tr0lls die  
AA: it 0nly makes sense that theyd get l0uder  
TA: ii gue22.  
TA: 2tiill, ii can't 2hake the feeliing that 2omethiing partiicularly awful ii2 comiing up.  
AA: 0h y0u always have that feeling!  
TA: 2hiit, yeah, you got me there.  
AA: anyway en0ugh ab0ut that  
AA: just because were b0th c0nstantly haunted by the v0ices 0f the dead and damned d0esnt mean thats the 0nly subject were all0wed t0 talk ab0ut  
AA: we have m0re imp0rtant things t0 discuss  
AA: like m0dules f0r silly r0leplaying games  
TA: yeah, okay, we can ju2t table the whole "iinexorably approachiing armageddon" topiic for now.  
AA: s0 weve already firmly established that y0u can get the files  
AA: but will y0u get them f0r me?  
TA: well ii certaiinly could.  
TA: but ii'm not really 2ure iif ii 2hould.  
AA: 0h c0me 0n  
AA: please?  
AA: d0nt make me use the sad barkbeast eyes  
TA: oh fuck, not the 2ad barkbea2t eyes, anythiing but that.  
AA: 0-0  
TA: 2hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.  
TA: okay, fiine, ii'll get you the fiile2.  
AA: yes! thank y0u s0llux! 0u0  
TA: ii 2hould warn you, though, that thii2 ii2 techniically iillegal.  
TA: well, ii 2ay that, but nobody ever really goe2 out of theiir way two pro2ecute people for iit, 2o you 2houldn't really giive a 2hiit about iit.  
AA: wait  
AA: w0uld terezi be mad if she f0und 0ut i d0wnl0aded them illegally?  
TA: pff, nah, 2he only really giive2 a 2hiit about 2eriiou2 criime2, 2he doe2n't go around hangiing people for liitteriing.  
TA: ii'm pretty 2ure 2he piirate2 2ome flarpiing 2tuff two, even.  
AA: 0k g00d  
AA: because i really need these m0dules  
AA: terezi likes drag0ns s0 i res0lved that this scenari0 w0uld c0ntain just an abs0lute shit t0n 0f drag0ns  
AA: but the st0res always charge such ex0rbitant rates f0r them  
TA: yeah, that'2 becau2e they're the 2ubject of all kiind2 of horriible weeaboo 2hiit and every wolf2hiirt-weariing mouthbreather iin the galaxy wiill pay through theiir aroma 2nout2 two get them.  
TA: whiich ii2n't two 2ay that tz ii2 a horriible weeaboo.  
TA: well, okay, 2he kiind of ii2.  
AA: haha  
TA: anyway, yeah, ii'll proviide you wiith however many 2caly fucker2 you need for your weiird roleplayiing thiing.  
AA: great!  
AA: thanks a l0t s0llux  
TA: though ii have two 2ay, iif you wanted 2ome free flarpiing 2hiit, you could've hiit me up for thii2 age2 ago.  
TA: how come you never a2ked before?  
AA: well when it was just tavr0s and i playing with the l0cal flarpers we were 0k with sticking with the defaults  
AA: but terezis in an0ther league entirely  
AA: i mean last night was really amazing and im g0ing t0 have t0 g0 all 0ut if i want t0 impress her  
AA: n0 expense can be spared!  
AA: well except the expenses that are being spared thr0ugh piracy  
AA: which is actually all 0f them c0me t0 think 0f it  
AA: but whatever thats n0t the p0int!  
AA: the p0int is i have t0 abs0lutely kn0ck terezis s0cks 0ff t0m0rr0w night  
AA: n0 y0u kn0w what just kn0cking them 0ff w0nt be en0ugh  
AA: th0se s0cks are g0ing t0 have t0 fly up away int0 the sun like a fucking piece 0f garbage as far as im c0ncerned  
TA: wow.  
TA: you're aiimiing a liitle hiigh here, aa.  
AA: i have t0!  
AA: if y0u were there last night y0ud understand  
AA: it was s0 awes0me  
AA: and i have t0 at least match that 0r 0therwise terezis g0ing t0 think im t0tally lame  
TA: man, aa, ii don't know why you're 2o concerned wiith what tz thiink2 of you, ii already know 2he thiink2 you're cool.  
TA: do you have a thiing for her or 2omethiing?  
AA: what!  
AA: n0!!  
TA: hey, iif you do, ii'll totally under2tand.  
AA: ugh s0llux its n0t like that!  
AA: i just want t0 be friends with her  
AA: really i expected this kind 0f thing fr0m nepeta but i th0ught y0u were better than this  
TA: 2o np'2 got my back on thii2 two? ahahah, awe2ome, we 2o have you pegged.  
AA: 0k im n0t even hum0ring this line 0f c0nversati0n anym0re  
AA: just send me the files and shut up  
TA: eheh, okay, fiine, ii'll get riight on iit.  
TA: ii'll make 2ure two download only the fiine2t of dragonyy'yd holographiic game con2truct2 for your flarpiing plea2ure.  
TA: ii wouldn't want two 2abotage your liittle date wiith tz.  
AA: its n0t a date!  
TA: of cour2e iit ii2n't, aa, of cour2e iit ii2n't.  
AA: ugh just can it) 

(All of your friends are so terrible.)

With the research done and resources secured, you were all set to design the perfect program. Terezi had taken a classic genre and elevated it with clever designs and elaborate setpieces, but with limited time and few resources, you would really have to think outside the box. So you decided to do the opposite: where Terezi took the maximalist approach, creating a broad exemplification of the tomb scrabble genre, you would take the minimalist approach, hitting on only the most important notes (dragons, law, mystery, justice, more dragons) and distill them into their purest, most concentrated form, and hopefully creating something totally unprecedented.

( _"Ah, Neophyte, at last you've here!" you proclaim, the announcement filtered and projected from the mouth of a bipedal dragonyy'y'd with dark violet scales in a flowing black robe. He claps her on the shoulder and turns to the assembly. "Everyone! The guest of honor has arrived!"_

_A cheer goes up around the dining table. Gathered in the dining block are a diverse gaggle of extravagantly dressed dragonyy'yd aristocrats, from the dutiful Liaison Pumpkinsniffle to the treacherous Senator Lemonsnout. At the head of the table, clad in shining blacksteel armor and wearing upon his head an inspiring (if cumbersome) ceremonial helmet was none other than His Honorable Tyranny himself, Lord High Justiciar Licoricetail. Terezi was shocked to see him present, and quickly bowed. "Your Honorable Tyranny!" she quickly offered. "I am honored to be in your presence."_

_You press a hotkey on your husktop and take control of the black-scaled master of ceremonies. "As are we in yours, Neophyte Redglare," he answers with a nod. "You are a fine legislacerator, perhaps the finest. Were each of my officials as skilled as you, they would surely eradicate lawlessness from this galaxy in a fortnight!"_

_"You flatter me, Your Honorable Tyranny," Terezi says, head still bowed in deference. "I am but a humble servant of the law. That is all."_

_"A little too humble, I think!" says the violet-scaled dragonyy'yd with his arm still wrapped around her shoulder, eliciting a laugh from the gathered diners (all but the villainous Lemonsnout, who simply huffs and looks away). "Come now, have a seat! Join in the feast!" He drags her to the only empty chair at the table before releasing his grip on her, and she slowly takes a seat-which, much to her consternation, is directly across from Senator Lemonsnout._

_Terezi grabs her ear to break character for a moment. "Is any of this food real?" she asks, looking over the holographic buffet._

_"Most of it isn't," you admit, "but your cup should have some grape juice in it. Oh! And those croissants in front of you are real, I baked them myself."_

_"Ooh, croissants!" Terezi squeals, grabbing one of the green and blue baked goods and taking a generous bite out of it._

_"Just an old recipe from my lusus. Though, unfortunately, I was fresh out of rosemary when I made them."_

_She gives you a dismissive wave. "It's fine, they're delicious," she informs you, then washes the bite down with a sip of grape juice. "Rosemary is overrated anyway."_

_You switch control back to Licoricetail. "Before we begin the meal properly, I propose a toast," he says, rising from his seat and lifting his glass from the table. Terezi motions to pick hers back up, but before she can, His Honorable Tyranny turns to her. "To Neophyte Redglare, for her exemplary performance in service of the law." The assembly murmurs in approval (except, of course, Senator Lemonsnout, who simply scowls from Terezi to his compatriots and back), and when Licoricetail raises his glass, the rest follow suit. "To Redglare!"_

_"To Redglare!" the diners echo in chorus, and each takes a long sip from his glass. Terezi politely does the same._

_Suddenly, there's a flash of lightning and a crack of thunder, and the room goes black. A confused din erupts across the room. A loud crash sounds out over the cacophony, and suddenly the lights flicker back on. And there, at the head of the table, was slumped over the body of His Honorable Tyranny, black blood oozing into the tablecloth. Panic sets in once more, senators shouting and hurling accusations at each other. Terezi looks on in shock, but slowly her mouth widens into a grin, and she leaps onto the table._

_"Everyone, be silent!" she shouts, brandishing her cane, and the room slowly calms down. She takes a determined breath. "His Honorable Tyranny now lies dead, his life taken by the hands of a villainous blackguard!" She looks in the direction of Lemonsnout when she says the last part, earning a low growl from him._

_"But who could it be?" Liaison Pumpkinsniffle asks timidly._

_"Elementary!" Terezi shouts, raising her cane. "The perpetrator couldn't have gotten away this quickly, so it must be someone in this room!" She slams the point of the cane onto the table, earning a flinch from most of the crowd. She grins. "And nobody leaves this building until I find out who it is!"_ )

It was a bold move, you thought, crafting a scenario set in a single room with only one combat encounter planned, but it completely paid off. Terezi ate the whole thing up, scouring the recently abandoned hive the adventure was set in and grilling the various witnesses for clues. And you had a lot of fun yourself, playing the parts of all the various eccentric dragonfolk as Terezi interrogated them. And, of course, there was the thrilling conclusion...

( _"Please, wait," Duke Pinesnort sputters, light blue blood dribbling down his chin, as Terezi fits the noose around his neck. "You're making a mistake here!"_

_"Stop talking," she chides him. "You're going to get bloodstains on the rope."_

_"You have nothing to gain by killing me," he says, breathing heavily from the wounds inflicted upon him. "If we controlled the courts together, you could live like a queen! Power, money, slaves, anything you wanted!"_

_Terezi scowls at him contemptuously. "You really don't understand, do you, Duke? There's only one commodity I'm interested in." She quickly turns and leapt off the table, grabbing the other end of the noose at the height of her jump and yanking it down as she falls. Duke Pinesnort struggles in the air for several seconds, attempting in vain to free himself from the noose, before he succumbs to asphyxiation._

_"Justice."_

_She lets go of the rope, and the Duke's lifeless body falls to the ground The remaining dragonyy'yd cheer, their thirst for justice sated._

_Boss battle attended to, Terezi grabs her ear to speak out of character. "Aradia, I have one complaint."_

_"What's that?" you ask._

_"Lemonsnout didn't do it."_

_You laugh. "Too predictable. I wanted the mystery to last more than ten minutes."_

_"I guess you have a point," she concedes, then breaks into a wide grin. "But that was amazing! I've been FLARPing for sweeps now, but this is the best adventure I've ever been on!"_

_"Really?" you ask. "Even though there was only one battle?"_

_"There only needed to be one battle!" Terezi assures you. "Fighting isn't even my favorite part of FLARP anyway. This is! The puzzles, the intrigue, the roleplaying! Vriska never roleplays, all she wants to do is kill things."_

_"Well, I'm glad you liked it," you tell her, "but it's not over yet. There's still one more thing to take care of."_

_A quizzical look crawls onto her face. "Oh?"_

_She jumps when the jovial purple-scaled dragonyy'yd claps her on the shoulder. "Redglare! Fantastic work! No wonder His Honorable Tyranny held you in such esteem!"_

_Terezi lets go of her ear and quickly gets back into character. "You are too kind, Governor Prunebelly," she says to him, looking at the ground dejectedly. "Were I truly so worthy of his praise, I could have foiled Pinesnort's scheme before he took the Lord High Justiciar's life."_

_The Governor grasps her other shoulder, his usual jovial grin fading. "Don't think to blame yourself for this, Neophyte," he consoled her. "None could have foreseen the Duke's machinations for this night, not even as keen a mind as yours."_

_"That is kind of you to say," Terezi replies, "but still... I failed him." Wow, she's a good roleplayer._

_"Redglare, there is something you should know," Prunebelly tells her quietly. "After his demise, I found something among Lord High Justiciar Licoricetail's personal effects. I believe he intended to give it to you." Before she can ask, he reaches into his pocket and balls something into his fist. He takes her hand and carefully releases it into her palm: a large, ornate key. "By its look, it probably fits the chest at the head of the table. Whatever its contents may be, take them. You've more than earned them."_

_Terezi stares at the key for a moment, then firmly grasps it in her hand and looks up at him. "Thank you, Governor. You are a true friend."_

_Prunebelly says nothing-he simply nods and releases Terezi's shoulder. She prances over to the chest and quickly sticks the key in. "What is it?" she asks, turning the key._

_"No spoilers," you say. "Just open it."_

_Terezi lifts the lid open and looks inside. She stares for a moment, mouth gaping and eyes blinking in disbelief. She slowly, carefully lifts the chest's contents: a dull blacksteel trophy, perhaps seven or eight inches in height, in the shape of an adult figure wearing a pair of elliptical glasses and wielding a dragon-headed cane. Her shirt is cut and hemmed to show the sign of Libra, matching the one on Terezi's shirt (well, the shirt she's usually wearing-she's in a costume awfully similar to the figurine's right now)._

_"This is..." She looks at the plate on the base of the trophy, the faded engraving on it still mostly legible. "'Award of Excellence in Legislaceration, presented to the humble servant of Her Imperious Condescension... Neophyte Redglare?' Aradia, is this real?"_

_"I told you I'd find it," you tell her. "I had to dig through my pile of unbelievably shitty relics for an hour to get to it."_

_She doesn't laugh. She's still fixated on the statuette. "You're not giving this to me, are you?!"_

_"Of course I am," you tell her. "I still owe you for last time."_

_"I gave you a fucking movie poster!" she practically shouts. "This is... this is a piece of history! It actually belongs in a museum!"_

_"It's a piece of_ your _history," you correct her. "And it belongs with somebody who'll appreciate it. That's what you said to me, isn't it?"_

_"Yeah, but... this is too much!"_

_"Terezi, as much as it means to you, it's just another relic to me. All it'll do is take up space in my hive. You deserve it more than I do."_

_You can see turquoise welling up in her eyes. She sniffles. "Really?"_

_"Really," you assure her. "Now take the thing. I insist."_

_"Well, if you insist," she relents, then hugs the statuette tightly against her chest. "But thank you, Aradia! It means more than you can possibly imagine!"_

_"You're welcome," you say, "but you've more than earned it with the sleuthing acumen you displayed tonight. Redglare would be proud."_

_She laughs, then wipes the tears from her eyes. "I don't know if that's true, but it's nice of you to say anyway."_

_"I mean it," you tell her. "But anyway, that's about it for the adventure. Unless you'd like to stick around and schmooze with the draconian aristocracy."_

_"I just might, actually!" she says enthusiastically. "If only for an excuse to have a few more of those croissants."_ )

But Terezi absolutely loved it. When she told you it was the best FLARP scenario she'd ever played in, you knew you'd hit it out of the park, considering what a seasoned veteran she is. Vriska looked at her like she was crazy when she said there was only one combat encounter, but you weren't trying to impress Vriska, so screw her. You're just glad you were able to live up to Terezi's expectations. Okay, _maybe_ you overshot them a little, but it's a perfectly reasonable precaution to take, isn't it? Anyway, your effort payed off. Both of you had an excellent time; Terezi's just as fun to cloud for as she is to run for.

But... as much fun as you had, you know it can't last. It's not that you don't want to play with Terezi. You do, as much as you can, in fact. But you're worried about Tavros. Whenever you're playing with Terezi, he's stuck with Vriska, and you don't trust for a second that she isn't tormenting him constantly. You might have to talk to Terezi about it... but in all honesty, you'd prefer to confront Vriska yourself. Give her a piece of your mind. ( _Maybe take a piece of her while you're at it._ )

What's this? Oh, speak of the bitch... what does _she_ want? You'd better deal with her.

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA].  
  
AG: Hey Megido, just an upd8 on the FLARP meetup tomorrow.  
AG: Same as the way we did it two sessions ago. Terezi's clouding for you and I'm clouding for Nitram.  
AA: what  
AA: h0ld 0n a sec0nd  
AG: Oh, don't tell me you have some kind of pro8lem with this........  
AA: are we seri0usly g0ing t0 pair 0ff the same way three times in a r0w?  
AG: Um, yes?  
AG: And that's an issue why????????  
AA: because sh0uldnt we switch up again at s0me p0int?  
AG: Aradia, are you seriously telling me you want me to cloud for you again?  
AA: ugh n0  
AG: Then what?  
AG: W8, I see what you're trying to do here.  
AG: You want to cloud for me so you can torment me to get 8ack at me for the way our first FLARPing session together went!!!!!!!!  
AG: Well, I am wise to your whoooooooole fucking con, Megido, so don't even think a8out it!!!!!!!!  
AA: n0 thats n0t it either  
AA: h0nestly i d0nt want t0 play with y0u at all  
AG: So you don't want to play with me, 8ut right now you're 8itching a8out not playing with me?  
AG: Oh, for fuck's s8ke, this is a8out Tavros, isn't it.  
AA: yes  
AG: Uuuuuuuugh.  
AG: You are so ridiculous, you know that?  
AG: Tavros has already told you I haven't given him any pro8lems. Terezi has told you I haven't given him any pro8lems.  
AG: Is it really that hard to 8elieve I haven't given him any pro8lems????????  
AA: yes  
AG: Oh my fucking g8d.  
AA: 0f c0urse tavr0s w0uld say y0u havent given him any pr0blems  
AA: hes pr0bably terrified y0ull d0 s0mething h0rrible t0 him if he tells any0ne  
AA: and terezi hasnt been watching y0u tw0 s0 she w0uldnt even kn0w!  
AG: This is so a8surd, now you are just m8king things up.  
AG: Look, I get that you don't like me, okay? I understand that!  
AG: And to 8e perfectly frank, I don't like you either!  
AG: 8ut this whole 8ullshit suspicious overprotective shtick you've got going is starting to get reeeeeeeeally fucking old!!!!!!!!  
AG: If Tavros comes home with a sprained ankle or something, then fine, I'll totally t8ke the fall for that!  
AG: 8ut as it is, you've got nothing on me, so why don't you save your complaints until you find some hard evidence????????  
AG: (Which you won't, 8y the way, 8ecause I'm not doing anything wrong!!!!!!!!)  
AA: why d0 y0u even want t0 pair up with him in the first place?  
AG: Who said I wanted to pair up with him?  
AG: Maaaaaaaay8e I just want to play with him 8ecause the only altern8tive would 8e playing with you, did you ever consider that????????  
AA: n0 im calling bs  
AA: y0u wanted t0 cl0ud f0r him the first time we met  
AA: bef0re y0u even knew anything ab0ut any 0f us  
AG: Yeah, 8ecause within the first eight seconds of meeting you, I somehow deduced that you were kind of a crazy 8itch!  
AG: What can I say, I'm sharp like that.  
AA: w0uld y0u st0p pretending this has anything t0 d0 with me?  
AA: i kn0w this is ab0ut tavr0s  
AA: y0u have s0me kind 0f weird 0bessi0n with him i knew it the instant y0u first laid eyes 0n him  
AG: It has n8thing to do with T8vros!!!!!!!!  
AG: God, didn't I just t8ll you to spare me your insane c8nspiracy theories like eight fucking sec8nds ago????????  
AA: seri0usly help me 0ut here i d0nt understand this  
AA: y0u tw0 have like n0thing in c0mm0n and y0ur pers0nalities are ab0ut as disparate as they c0me  
AA: s0 why d0 y0u have this bizarre fixati0n 0n him?  
AG: Fuck you, I don't h8ve a fix8tion on any8ody!!!!!!!!  
AA: then why are y0u s0 insistent 0n pairing up with him?  
AG: Look, do you want to know the honest-to-god truth here?  
AA: sure  
AA: wh0 can i get it fr0m  
AG: Oh, shut up. XXXXP  
AA: haha  
AG: Look, the fact of the matter is that I'm not the one who's insisting on anything!  
AG: The whole reason we're keeping this whole arrangement is because Terezi is the one who so desper8tely wants to 8e paired up with you!  
AA: 0h  
AA: seri0usly?  
AG: Yeah! She's 8een pretty weirdly o8sessed with you ever since she met you, actually, 8ut it's only gotten worse since then.  
AG: Especially since last night! She's 8een doing nothing 8ut gushing a8out how amaaaaaaaazing it was and how cool you are, ugh.  
AA: she  
AA: she thinks im c00l?  
AG: I know, right? How the fuck did you pull that one off?  
AG: Like, I know Terezi doesn't seem to have any pro8lems associ8ting with dirty low8lood peasants, 8ut I kind of figured you of all people would 8e filthy and unlikea8le enough to drive her away!  
AA: 0h shut up!  
AG: Hahahahahahahaha.  
AA: can y0u please just st0p with all this casteist hate speech?  
AG: I want to, Aradia. Really, I do! 8ut I don't make the rules here.  
AG: The Hemospectrum dict8tes that I'm totally awesome and you're ugly nasty trash, and I have reluctantly come to terms with that.  
AA: ugh  
AG: Like, I guess if you had a prestigious ancestor or something, that miiiiiiiight m8ke you okay?  
AG: 8ut you pro8a8ly don't even have an ancestor. In fact, your entire existence was pro8a8ly just a 8ig stupid mistake.  
AG: I 8et what happened was the Mother Gru8 sneezed into the genetic slurry, and that's how you were conceived.  
AA: 0k seri0usly whats y0ur pr0blem with me?  
AA: im starting t0 think y0ure waxing black f0r me  
AG: Whaaaaaaaat????????  
AG: Don't get the wrong idea, Megido, I already have a kismesis!  
AG: And as lame and terri8le as he kind of is, he's eight million times 8etter than some uppity nappy-haired low8lood with a grudge against me!  
AA: my hair is n0t nappy!  
AG: Aradia, it is like the nappiest hair. You don't even know.  
AA: y0ure hardly 0ne t0 even talk!  
AA: y0u think that filthy m0p c0ming 0ut 0f y0ur head is any better?  
AG: Whoa, hey, fuck you, don't talk shit a8out my hair!!!!!!!!  
AA: y0u started it!  
AG: Ugh, this is so idiotic, I am completely washing my hands of this entire stupid line of questioning.  
AG: You're with Terezi, and I'm with Tavros, 8ecause Terezi pretty much demanded it!  
AG: So if you've got a pro8lem with it, t8ke it up with her.  
AA: 0h  
AA: well 0k i guess  
AG: Yeah, of course you completely change your tune when it comes out that Terezi's the one that made the call.  
AG: You are so transparent, you know that?  
AA: bite me  
AG: Don't tempt me.  
AA: 0_0  
AG: Anyway, I've communic8ted everything I needed to communic8 here, and the more I talk to you, the more I want to hurt myself and others.  
AG: And 8y "others," I mostly mean you.  
AA: m0stly  
AA: wh0 else  
AG: None of your 8usiness.  
AA: well if tavr0s is 0n that list im g0ing t0 find 0ut  
AA: and then im g0ing t0 kill you  
AA: understand?  
AG: Yes, yes, I get it.  
AG: God, so overprotective. What are you, his moirail or something?  
AA: fuck 0ff  
AG: Whatever.  
AG: Anyway, see you tomorrow, hopefully as 8riefly as possi8le.  
AA: likewise  
  
arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]. 

As much as you want to be bothered by the fact that you had to speak with such an unbearable person for an excruiating amount of time, you can only really think about one thing: Terezi thinks you're cool? And she's weirdly obsessed with you? Well, okay, you're not entirely certain about the veracity of that last part. Well, you guess you can ask her when you FLARP with her tomorrow.

Wait, shit, you're FLARPing with Terezi tomorrow.

You're not going to get _any_ sleep tonight.

***

You did, in fact, get a little sleep last night. Four hours of it. Well, four hours and six minutes, but that extra six minutes is hardly helping you right now.

Anyway, your third FLARPing match with Terezi isn't nearly as much of an event as the previous two were. "If we keep trying to outdo each other, somebody's going to get killed," she tells you. "So I say that for the sake of the sanity of all parties involved, we all just settle down here with the scenario design."

"Yeah, that's fair," you grant her. "Honestly, I think I kind of outdid myself with mine."

"Same here," Terezi admits. "I kind of phoned it in with today's adventure."

"It's okay," you attempt to say, but you cut yourself off with a massive yawn. You cover your mouth. "Sorry, I didn't get much sleep last night, so I don't really have it in me for another tomb scrabble." After a moment, you smile and add, "And anyway, I'm just happy for another chance to hang out with you!" ( _Oh god, why did you just say that? Idiot._ )

Terezi grins. "Yeah, same here! Anyway, let's get started!" ( _Oh. Well, okay._ )

You proceed with the FLARPing session with little incident. It's some sort of adventure set in the forest, chasing after some artifact and fighting beasts or whatever. Not the most inspired scenario, but you're not really focusing on it. You're more interested in talking to Terezi. It's more of a backdrop as far as you're concerned.

"So," you drawl, not sure exactly how to bring this up, but doing it anyway, "I talked to Vriska the other day."

"I'm sorry," Terezi says.

You laugh. "Seriously, though, she brought up something interesting."

"Oh? And what's that?"

"Well, I asked why we weren't switching teams," you tell her, "and she said it was because you wanted to keep playing with me."

"Uh huh." She pauses for a moment, giving you a chance to continue, and you take it.

"And also..." You hesitate. Maybe you shouldn't talk to her about this. You don't want to sound like you're accusing her of anything. But... well, Vriska's the one who said it, not you. "She said it was because-and these are her words, mind you, not mine-but she said it was because you were 'weirdly obsessed' with me."

"And you believed her?"

"No!" you hastily answer. "Well, not completely, anyway. I mean, not that I'm accusing you of-ugh, I don't even know what I'm trying to say here!" ( _Why did you even bring this up in the first place?_ ) ( _That's obvious: because you want it to be true._ )

Terezi laughs. ( _At you. She laughs_ at _you._ ) "Listen, Aradia, I _am_ the one who made the call here. I mean, after the last game, can you blame me?"

You grin. "No, I guess not."

"But, to be perfectly honest," she goes on, the usual manic edge of her voice dulling a bit, "that's not really the only reason I wanted to pair up with you."

You stop what you're doing. A puzzle or something? ( _Who cares?_ ) "Oh?"

"Well, you know," Terezi says, trying to sound non-committal, "I was kind of looking forward to the opportunity to... get to know you a little better."

( _"Get to know you better?"_ )

( _Really?_ )

"I mean, because we're friends and all," she quickly appends, "and even though we've talked online, it's not really the same as... well, wait, we are friends, right?"

You blink. "Do you want to be friends?"

"Kind of, yeah," she admits.

"Well, okay. Then we're friends."

"Great!"

Somehow, you're not as satisfied with that as you thought you would be.

"So, you know, I wanted an excuse to talk to you some more," Terezi explains, "and I figured this was the best way to get one."

"Well, sure," you say, "but if you wanted to talk in person, you could've just said so. You didn't have to engineer our FLARP meetups just so we'd end up together. I mean, there's nothing stopping us from hanging out outside of FLARP!"

"You sure about that?" she asks. "I kind of figured you'd take it as sticking your neck out to go off and socialize with a blueblood."

Oh. You hadn't really thought about it that way. "Maybe a little," you say, "but I'd be okay with it if it was with you." ( _Ugh, lame._ )

"Oh," Terezi responds, and the pause afterward seems to stretch into the horizon. Maybe you're just imagining that, though. Finally, she continues, "Well, I just might have to invite you to my hive sometime!"

You internally sigh in relief, doing your best to cover it up with a smile. "Well, I just might have to take you up on that."

"Well, then that just might be settled," Terezi concludes. "Now get back to the adventure! You've been staring at this puzzle for like three minutes!"

Three minutes? Is that all? You could've sworn it was longer than that.

***

In all honesty, you don't even really remember the rest of the night. In fact, everything after that point became sort of an anxious blur, up until Terezi contacted you the following night (was it the following night? Was it evening or closer to midnight? Ugh, it's not important), inviting you to a very unusual kind of social gathering:

AA: a slumber party?  
GC: Y3S!  
GC: 1T 1S 4N 4NC13NT 4ND H4LLOW3D TR4D1T1ON 4MONGST TH3 F3M4L3 NOB1L1TY  
GC: 4S D4WN 4PPRO4CH3S, W3 4LL CONGR3G4T3 1N 4 S1NGL3 H1V3, 1D34LLY W34R1NG SOM3 SORT OF COMFORT4BL3 SL33PW34R  
GC: 4ND W4TCH MOV13S 4ND PL4Y G4M3S 4ND GOSS1P 4BOUT BOYS 4ND STUFF  
AA: 0h  
AA: well that s0unds c00l actually!  
GC: SO YOULL COM3?  
AA: well it depends  
AA: wh0 else is g0ing t0 be there?  
GC: 1M NOT COMPL3T3LY D3C1D3D Y3T  
AA: can i invite s0me0ne?  
GC: L1K3 WHO?  
AA: tavr0s maybe?  
GC: NO!!!!! >:O  
AA: 0_0  
GC: TH4T WOULD B3 1N V1OL4T1ON OF ON3 OF TH3 MOST 3XPL1C1T 4ND STR1CTLY 3NFORC3D COD3S OF TH3 SLUMB3R P4RTY  
GC: NO BOYS 4LLOW3D  
AA: 0h  
AA: well thats kind 0f arbitrary  
GC: 1 DONT M4K3 TH3 RUL3S 4R4D14  
GC: 1 JUST 3NFORC3 TH3M  
AA: 0k 0k fine  
AA: but that kind 0f narr0ws it d0wn  
GC: Y34H  
AA: what ab0ut nepeta?  
GC: 1 DONT TH1NK SH3LL B3 4BL3 TO M4K3 1T  
GC: H3R MO1R41L WOULD N3V3R 4LLOW 1T B3C4US3  
GC: W3LL  
AA: because why?  
GC: B3C4US3 VR1SK4S GO1NG TO B3 TH3R3  
AA: 0h g0d  
AA: n0w im n0t s0 sure i want t0 g0  
GC: OH COM3 ON! >:[  
GC: 1 KNOW YOU TWO K1ND OF DONT L1K3 34CH OTH3R, BUT WOULD 1T R34LLY B3 TH4T H4RD FOR YOU TO TOL3R4T3 34CH OTH3RS PR3S3NC3 FOR ON3 N1GHT?  
GC: FOR MY S4K3, 1F NOTH1NG 3LS3?  
AA: l00k i can behave myself just fine  
AA: i just d0nt want t0 have t0 be subjected t0 vriskas taunts all night  
GC: 1 C4N K33P H3R 1N L1N3  
GC: 1 KNOW YOU GUYS C4NT ST4ND 34CH OTH3R ON TH3 FL4RP1NG F13LD, BUT TH1S W1LL B3 D1FF3R3NT, TRUST M3  
GC: W3 4R3 4LL JUST GO1NG TO H4NG OUT 4ND H4V3 4 GOOD T1M3 4ND 4BSOLUT3LY NO STUP1D DR4M4 OR HOST1L1T13S 4R3 GO1NG TO T4K3 PL4C3  
GC: 1 G1V3 YOU MY WORD  
AA: well  
AA: if y0u really think y0u can keep vriska under c0ntr0l  
GC: PL3334444S3, 4R4D14  
GC: 1V3 B33N D34L1NG W1TH VR1SK4 4ND 4LL H3R 3X4GG3R4T3D 3MOT1ON4L TH34TR1CS FOR SW33PS NOW  
GC: H4NDL1NG H3R H4S B3COM3 L1K3 S3COND N4TUR3 TO M3  
GC: 1 4M TH3 SP1D3R WH1SP3R3R  
GC: 1TS M3  
AA: haha  
GC: SO W1LL YOU COM3?  
AA: 0k sure  
GC: Y3S!!! >:D!!!  
GC: TH4NK YOU 4R4D14!  
AA: well thank y0u f0r inviting me!  
AA: sh0uld i bring anything?  
GC: JUST YOUR COMF13ST P41R OF P4J4M4S  
GC: 4ND M4YB3 SOM3 POPCORN TOO  
AA: y0u kn0w i live 0ut 0n the plains right  
AA: i c0uld bring an actual ear 0f c0rn  
AA: theyre all 0ver the place 0ut here  
GC: >:O  
GC: OK4Y CH4NG3 OF PL4NS DO TH4T  
GC: TH4T SOUNDS 4M4Z1NG  
AA: amazing?  
AA: its n0t amazing its just c0rn  
GC: W3LL 1V3 N3V3R H4D POPCORN FR3SH OFF TH3 COB B3FOR3  
GC: SO 1T S33MS L1K3 4 NOV3L RUST1C 3XP3R13NC3 TO M3  
AA: uh huh  
AA: d0 y0u want t0 participate in any 0ther l0wer class pasttimes?  
AA: we c0uld make cl0thing 0ut 0f dirty rags and c0ntract typh0id t0gether  
GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3  
AA: 0_0  
GC: BUT R34LLY 4R4D14 TH3R3 1S NO N33D TO R34D SO MUCH 1NTO 3V3RYTH1NG  
GC: 1 JUST W4NT TO TRY 1T B3C4US3 1T 1S SOM3TH1NG N3W 4ND 1NT3R3ST1NG  
GC: SORT OF L1K3 YOU 4R3!  
AA: s0 im n0vel and rustic too?  
GC: FOR YOUR 1NFORM4T1ON BOTH OF THOS3 WORDS H4V3 PUR3LY POS1T1V3 CONNOT4T1ONS  
GC: NOV3L S1MPLY M34NS N3W 4ND 1NT3R3ST1NG, WH1CH 1S WH4T 1 JUST S41D  
GC: 4ND RUST1C M34NS DOWN TO 34RTH 4ND R3FR3SH1NGLY L4CK1NG 1N PR3T3NS1ONS  
GC: SO Y3S YOU 4R3 NOV3L 4ND RUST1C 4ND TH4T 1S NOT 4 B4D TH1NG  
GC: SO DONT GO ST4RT1NG 4 CL4SS W4R OV3R 1T  
AA: 0k 0k fine  
AA: s0rry im 0verreacting i guess  
GC: 1TS F1N3, 1 UND3RST4ND  
GC: 4NYW4Y, S33 YOU TOMORROW N1GHT?  
AA: sure!  
AA: ill bring s0me c0rn i guess  
AA: w0w i cant believe thats a thing i just said  
GC: H3H3  
GC: OH, 4ND BR1NG 4 MOV13 YOU L1K3 TOO  
GC: 4CTU4LLY, W41T  
GC: S3CR3T 4SS1GNM3NT  
GC: BR1NG 4 MOV13 YOU TH1NK 1LL L1K3  
GC: 4ND 1LL G3T ON3 1 TH1NK YOULL L1K3!  
AA: 00h g00d idea!  
AA: d0es vriska have t0 like it t00?  
GC: N4H, SCR3W H3R  
AA: hahahaha  
GC: >:P  
AA: 0h and d0nt get a tr0lliana j0nes m0vie  
AA: thats cheating  
AA: and als0 ive seen them all a milli0n times and ill ann0y b0th 0f y0u by reading 0ff all the lines  
GC: H4H4 R34LLY?  
AA: well all 0f them but the f0urth 0ne  
AA: fuck that 0ne  
AA: and fuck tr0ll shia labe0uf  
GC: Y3S, 1M 4LR34DY W3LL 4W4R3 OF YOUR UNDY1NG H4TR3D FOR TROLL SH14 L4B3OUF  
GC: 4ND 4LL TH3 UN1M4G1N4BLY D1RTY TH1NGS YOU TH1NK 4BOUT DO1NG TO H1M  
AA: its n0t like that!  
AA: this is pure plat0nic murderlust 0k  
GC: OH COM3 ON, YOU COULD DO WORS3  
AA: 0k fine id kiss him maybe 0nce  
AA: but right after that id rem0ve his skull and have it crystallized  
GC: H3H3, F41R 3NOUGH  
GC: 4NYW4Y 1LL G3T YOU SOM3TH1NG YOULL LOV3  
AA: yeah same here!  
GC: 3XC3LL3NT!  
GC: TH3N 1LL S33 YOU TOMORROW! >:]  
AA: its a date!

You're not entirely certain whether or not you meant that in the temporal sense.

***

Twenty-eight hours and... _the following night_ , you find yourself wandering into the forest, en route to the large tree which bears the load of Terezi's hive. The surrounding forest is beautiful, all powder blue trunks and amethyst leaves, and it only gets more colorful as you approach your destination. Terezi told you she hung the bodies of her victims from the trees around her hive, but you were kind of assuming she was talking about trolls. Instead, you see a rainbow of stuffed dragon toys hanging from the canopy above, each with a color-coordinated noose. (Vriska needs the troll corpses for her lusus, she would later explain.)

You approach the foot of the hive. A long rope hangs down from the entrance, the other end attached to a platform currently stationary at the door. You shout up to the hive, "Hey Terezi! Can I come up?"

After a few seconds, the door opens and Terezi leans out. "Oh hey, Aradia!" he answers. "Yeah, you can come up, just pull the..." You cut her off by levitating up to the doorstep, eliciting a muttered "Oh, right" in response.

"How was the trip?" she asks as you touch down.

"Uneventful," you respond. "Anyway, are we getting this sleepover started?"

Terezi steps back, opening the door wider. "Be my guest." You gladly comply, confidently strutting into the hive, but freeze when you spot Vriska out of the corner of your eye. Terezi's still wearing her usual clothes, but Vriska must have changed already. Instead of her usual blue jeans/grey jacket combo, she's wearing a loose-fitting grey tank top with her symbol on it in blue, as well as a matching pair of blue sweatpants (with the drawstrings tied in a knot and dangling almost to her knees-she's so skinny, they'd probably fall off otherwise) and a pair of bright red loafers. You can see why she usually wears the jacket-she looks a bit awkward and gangly like this, with her wide shoulders and long, bony arms. She _almost_ looks non-threatening. But the generous neckline of her tank top reveals a scattered set of scratches and bite marks around her neck, scarred over blue with just the slightest hint of what looks like purple. ( _Purple? That's what you get when you mix blue and red, isn't it? Hmmm..._ )

Well, she did say she had a kismesis.

( _No, she said she_ already _had a kismesis. Surely you didn't forget that extra word?_ )

She sees you sizing her up and returns your look, trying to make her face as blank as possible. "Hey," she says, splaying her fingers out in a half-assed wave.

You return a half-assed wave of your own. "Hey."

"Now see, I knew you two could get along!" Terezi says, closing the door.

Vriska rolls her eyes. "We've exchanged two words so far, total."

"Yes, and at this rate, by the end of the night you'll have exchanged twenty!" Terezi exclaims. "And _that_ is what we call 'progress!'" You laugh. Vriska looks like she's about to say something in response, but Terezi cuts her off by pulling something out of her sylladex and tossing it to her. "Anyway, Vriska, queue this movie up and skip through the trailers," she tells her, then turns to you. "Aradia, did you bring the corn?"

You smile. "Of course!"

"Great!" she responds with a toothy grin of her own. "Anyway, I'll go get the cookalizer. Once we're both gone, you can change into your jammies, then follow Vriska to the rumpusblock." 

"Sounds like a plan!" you say and give a thumbs up, which Terezi enthusiastically returns. Vriska briefly rolls her eyes and walks off into a nearby hallway, DVD case firmly in hand, and Terezi prances off down another corridor. Once they're both out of sight, you take the time to change into your sleepwear: a simple set of wool pajamas (the top is a short-sleeved button-up and the bottom a pair of loose-fitting capris; lusus wool is awfully warm), all white except for your dark red symbol ironed onto the left breast. You don't have any slippers, so you just slip off your bar shoes, leaving you in your bare socks. Thinking about it, the whole getup feels a little modest compared to what Vriska's wearing, so you unbutton the top button. ( _Wait, why do you even care about that?_ )

( _Why indeed, you wily little seductress?_ )

You're tempted to follow Terezi, but she did tell you to go after Vriska, so you grudgingly head into the rumpusblock. It's a large rectangular room, and as you walk in, the first thing you see is the massive bookshelf dominating the opposite wall, crammed with tomes of all shapes and sizes (and ages-some of them must be ancient. You're tempted to pull down the oldest one you can and start reading, but this is a slumber party, not a book club meeting). The left wall is covered with colorful drawings of dragons (and a few cats, which you recognize as Nepeta's work) and a particularly massive figure labeled as "H1S HONOR4BL3 TYR4NNY." The right wall is mostly taken up by a window (with a set of bright yellow curtains covering it, thankfully) and a large TV. Arranged at a comfortable distance in front of the TV is a large, C-shaped pile of dismembered dragon toys (scalemates, you would soon learn they're called) big enough for the three of you, with a communal pile of snacks in the center.

Vriska is sitting in the middle section of the C-shaped pile, fiddling with a remote control and idly munching from a bag of fried potato slices. She looks up at you and says, "Have a s... wait." She gets up, then relocates herself to the left end of the C. " _Now_ have a seat," she corrects herself, then rotates the bag of potato slices to face her new position. ( _Okay, you get it. She doesn't want to sit by you._ ) ( _Or did she do that because she knew you didn't want to sit by her?_ )

You take your seat on the right side of the pile. A brief glance at the TV screen reveals nothing but a few trailers playing at sixteen times their usual speed. "Ugh, trailers," you say.

"I know, right?" Vriska answers. "You can't just go straight to the menu, so you just have to fast forward through them. But they know everybody already does that, so they put like eight billion trailers in to compensate!"

"Oh, the perils of high-capacity digital media," you muse. Actually, those were Sollux's words, not yours. Still, it earns a stifled laugh from Vriska. "You know, I've got a friend who knows how to get around this. Something you to do the DVD player." What was it again? Softmodding? Jailbreaking?

"Well, then get her on the phone right the fuck now, because we've got a DVD player in serious need of surgery here," Vriska commands you.

You laugh despite yourself. "Actually, it's a 'him,'" you correct her. "And no boys allowed, remember?"

"Right, right," she mutters.

An awkward silence falls over the room (thankfully, the trailers aren't playing their audio at sixteen times its usual speed too). You decide you may as well break it, if only to satisfy your curiosity. "So do you and Terezi do stuff like this often?"

Vriska looks over to you. "Um, yeah?" she replies. "We're kind of best friends, you know." You can't help but notice a sort of threatening edge to that last sentence. ( _Or is it a_ threatened _edge?_ )

"Oh." You look away, not wanting to commit to the topic if it means starting an argument.

"Well..." Vriska trails off and looks at the TV. "Okay, we don't really do 'stuff like this.' Mostly we just FLARP together and stuff. This whole 'slumber party' thing is new to me."

You look at her curiously. "Really? Terezi told me it was 'a hallowed and ancient tradition amongst the female nobility.'"

Vriska snorts with laughter. "Is that what she told you? Oh boy..."

Before you can ask what she means by that, you hear a voice calling from the hallway. "Alright, I've got everything we need!" You and Vriska both turn to look, and... what.

What.

Terezi Pyrope steps into the room with both hands up in display, one holding a cookalizer and the other carefully cradling half a stick of butter and a salt shaker. But that's not the important part. The important part is that she's changed into her sleepwear-and apparently her sleepwear of choice is a negligee. A teal negligee with a very generous neckline and a skirt ending inches above her knees. Wait. Wait, hold on. Is that... is that _sheer_? Oh god, it's sheer.

( _They're red._ )

( _They're dark red._ )

You think you're about to say something, but suddenly choke, and you can feel your cheeks growing warm. Terezi is blushing a little herself, grinning nervously as she stands in the entranceway. Vriska apparently isn't as flustered as you are, and takes the opportunity to ask the question you really want to (but also don't really want to): "Terezi, what the fuck are you wearing?"

Terezi glares at her. "Hey, screw you!" she says in lieu of actually answering the question. "It's my hive, so I can wear whatever I want! If you've got a problem with it, you're welcome to leave!"

"Hey, I don't have a problem with it," Vriska responds, "I was just..." She trails off as Terezi advances toward the pile, apparently hearing enough. As she walks in front of you, you suddenly find it difficult to breathe. Um, maybe it's the altitude! You've never been this high up before. ( _Hahahahahahahaha._ )

She plops down in Vriska's original seat, then leans forward, setting down the cookalizer and condiments. "Okay, we're all set!" she says, then looks over at you. "Aradia, did you bring the corn?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, right, the corn!" ( _Idiot._ ) "Hang on, just let me..." After a mercifully brief consultation with your Ouija modus (thank you, Ouija, goodbye, Ouija), you retrieve a few pre-shucked ears of corn from your sylladex.

"Um, what the hell?" Vriska chimes in, eyebrow fully cocked. "I thought we were having popcorn."

"We are, silly!" Terezi chides her as she grabs an ear from you. "Corn is corn, it all pops one way or another." She grabs the stick of butter and rubs it on the cob, then suddenly stops and looks over at you. "Wait, this is how you do it, right?"

You walk them both through the process of popping it, though not without a few snags. Like when Vriska set her first cob on fire, and you laughed at her. Or when some butter accidentally dripped onto your fingers, and before you could get to it, Terezi grabbed your hand and licked it off. Okay, that wasn't really a snag, but hnnrghrgfgvbdgfbl.

Popcorn fully prepared, you finally begin the movie Terezi picked out for you. It has Troll Harrison Ford in it, which doesn't surprise you, but it's one of his lesser-known films, some strange adventure movie apparently set on the far, far fringes of the Empire. Far away enough (or long ago enough, or perhaps both) that there's still some _other_ Empire ruling the place, and yet trolls are still the most prevalent species. The movie wasn't particularly well-received, mostly because people didn't find the premise to be even close to believable, so you've never watched it. But if you can suspend your disbelief, it's actually a really fun movie. Troll Harrison Ford is at his finest, as usual, playing a savvy rogue who shoots first and asks questions later. Unusually, Vriska seems quite taken with him too, cheering whenever he executes some bumbling typhoonstomper (and when he makes his triumphant return during the final space battle (the space battle is really excellent, the three of you agree)). Overall, it was a delightful romp, with action and princesses and people fighting with laser swords and you liked it. After the movie finishes, Terezi puts the DVD back in its case, then hands it to you. "My treat," she says. "Assuming, of course, you brought a movie for me."

"Yes, of course!" you say, retrieving the movie you brought for Terezi after a brief séance (thank you, Ouija, goodbye, Ouija) and exchanging the two.

She looks at the cover. "Oh, I've heard of this one, but I don't think I've ever seen it!" she says. "Very controversial, from what I've heard."

"Well, maybe it is," you admit, "but it's a movie about legislacerators and Troll Matthew McConaughey is a decent actor, so I figured you'd like it."

"Well, there's only one way to find out!" Terezi pops the case open and deftly deposits the DVD into the player. After several minutes of fast forwarding through trailers, during which the three of you complain about how obnoxious trailers are, the movie finally begins. It's an emotionally moving tale of Troll Matthew McConaughey dealing with the case of a lowblood (played by Troll Samuel L. Jackson) who has been condemned to death after killing two bluebloods who murdered his moirail. Instead of going through with it, he turns the trial on its end to rail against the prejudices inherent to the system. "CAN YOU SEE HER? I WANT YOU TO PICTURE THAT TROLL. [chokes up] NOW IMAGINE SHE'S A BLUEBLOOD." You got us, Matthew! Your smooth talking has exposed our latent casteism! Damn you are good! Of course, he was executed for making a mockery of the legal process and Troll Samuel L. Jackson was likewise culled, but everybody knew who the _real_ victor was, at least morally.

You kind of wish you'd known the movie was about such a touchy subject beforehand, though. Terezi seems fine with it (you think she even cried when McConaughey's character was culled), but Vriska doesn't look so thrilled. You don't want to turn this whole night into some big awkward political thing.

Thankfully, though, Terezi stops it from becoming an issue. She thanks you for the movie and ensures you she loved it, and you do the same for her movie, and then she mandates that the games begin. The three of you play some game grubs on Terezi's TV, and you have a lot of fun, though you and Vriska nearly come to blows when she keeps ramming you off the edge in the racing game. Then Terezi demands the three of you have a scalemate fight, which you handily lose, mostly because you keep getting distracted by Terezi. You know, all of her sudden movements and all that! ( _Yeah, keep telling yourself that._ ) Still, you enjoyed it, even if Vriska kept hitting you in the back of the head. ( _While you were distracted._ ) But finally the moment of truth has arrived. The one game you simultaneously anticipate and dread the most: truth or dare.

"We all take turns, going around in a circle," Terezi explains. "Aradia, since you're the guest of honor, you get to ask first."

"Why is _she_ the guest of honor?" Vriska butts in.

"Because this is her first time at my hive, and you've been here like a million times!" Terezi answers, then turns back to you. "Anyway, whoever you pick first determines the order."

"Okay," you say, then stop to ponder the decision. Well, you could pick Terezi first, but you already know plenty about her, and you can't think of anything you want to dare her to do. So you think you'll pick Vriska. ( _Anyway, you want to antagonize her more. Right?_ ) "Vriska, truth or dare?"

Vriska lets out an unimpressed laugh. "Truth."

Good, that's what you wanted her to pick. You already have something you want to pry out of her, and now she can't lie about it. "What's the deal with you and Tavros?"

"Uuuuuuuugh," she says, rolling her eyes, "you are so predictable. I've told you before, there is no deal with me and Tavros!"

"Not good enough!" Terezi interjects. "You picked truth, so you've got to give her more than that! And anyway, I know for a fact there _is_ a deal with you and Tavros."

You turn to Terezi. "Really?"

"Okay, okay, let me explain it, not her!" Vriska cuts in, a faint blue blush appearing on her cheeks. "Alright, the thing is, he... he reminds me of somebody. From a book."

"A journal," Terezi elaborates.

"A journal is a type of book, that's not a lie!"

"But what type of journal, Vriska?"

"Ugh, okay, Terezi, shut up," Vriska says, and Terezi backs off. "Okay, it's my ancestor's journal. I know you're a rustblood, so you probably don't get this, but ancestry is kind of a big deal to people like me and Terezi. And my ancestor ultimately became matesprits with a guy who's really weirdly similar to Tavros. Same blood color, same powers, same..." She trails off.

"The same sign?" you ask, remembering the way the look in her eye changed when she first saw it.

"Yeah," she admits, then shrugs. "But I don't know what that makes the deal with Tavros, okay? I mean, trust me, I don't _want_ to be in a quadrant with such a wimp, but if fate says I have to, then what the fuck can I do?"

You blink. "Huh." You didn't realize it was that complicated.

Vriska groans and shifts uncomfortably in her pile, looking away. "Anyway, are we done with the fucking inquisition here?" she asks. "Can I go now?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Okay, good, because you're next," she says, glaring at you. "Truth or dare."

You don't even want to think about what Vriska would dare you to do. "Truth."

She grins. "Alright, what's _your_ deal with Tavros? The whole overprotective shtick, asking me probing questions about him the first chance you get... What's with that?"

You sigh. "Look, he's my friend, alright? We've been friends practically since we hatched. And he's always been kind of... well, you know, unassertive. So somebody has to look out for him. And if not me, then who?"

"Do you have a thing for him or something?"

"Isn't that another question?"

"I think that's what she meant when she said 'your thing with Tavros,'" Terezi concludes, leaning into the conversation. She adds with a grin, "And anyway, I wanna know too."

"Okay, okay, fine," you relent. "I might be kind of pale for him, alright? But I don't know if he feels the same way, or if he's even interested in being a moirail at all."

"Pale, huh?" Terezi says, grinning enigmatically. "Interesting..."

"Yeah I figured as much," Vriska says with a triumphant smirk. "I just wanted to get you to admit it is all."

"Oh, shut up," you tell her.

Vriska huffs. "Anyway, Terezi, you're up."

"Excellent!" Terezi says, then turns to you. "Aradia, truth or dare?"

Now this you might be a little more comfortable with. You decide to make things interesting. "Dare."

Both of them look surprised. "Wow, three questions in, and a dare already!" Terezi says. "Now I have to think of something."

Just out of curiosity, you ask, "What were you gonna ask if I said truth?"

"You don't have to answer that!" Vriska informs her.

"Nah, it's fine," Terezi waves her off. "I was just gonna ask what the deal was between you and Sollux."

"Oh." You're kind of glad you picked dare. ( _But then, that question is getting simpler by the day, isn't it? Hmmmmmmmm..._ )

"Who's Sollux?" Vriska asks.

"Friend of ours, don't worry about it," Terezi tells her. "Anyway, I've got my dare."

"Okay, give it to me."

Terezi grins. "I dare you to take your shirt off."

You lurch back in your pile. "W-what?!"

"You heard the woman! Off with the shirt!" Vriska cries.

"You're wearing something under it, right?" Terezi asks you.

"Well, yeah, but..." You cross your arms over your chest defensively, and you can feel your cheeks burning again. "Why?"

"You don't get to ask why! Just take it off!" Vriska demands, baying for blood (or at least skin). "You're the only one here wearing sleeves, so let's see some shoulder, Megido!"

Terezi backs off a little. "Look, if you're not comfortable with it, you can go with truth."

"Hey, no backsies!" Vriska said. "She said dare, so it's a dare!"

"Look, it's not that I'm not comfortable with it," you assure her. "It's just that I'm... surprised, that's all."

"Then take it off!"

"I am! Shut up!" you yell at Vriska, then you close your eyes and take a deep breath. One by one, you undo each button on your pajama top, then toss it on the floor behind you. Thankfully, you're still wearing a bra (a simple black thing with a small version of your symbol just barely visible on the left cup), but now your entire chest is flushed maroon, making you feel a little more vulnerable around the two blueblood girls. You can feel them staring at you, and when you open your eyes, they jump in their seats and quickly avert their gazes. You stifle a laugh.

"Anyway, can I go now?" you ask, sounding a little annoyed.

"Yeah, sure," Terezi says, trying to make it less obvious that she's struggling to maintain eye contact.

You turn to her bodily, just barely hearing a muttered "uh" from her, and you smirk. "Terezi, truth or dare?"

"Uh, truth," she answers. Obviously she fears a retaliatory dare. ( _She doesn't have as much clothing to take off._ ) (hnnrghgrgffbl)

"Why did you ask me to take my shirt off?" It's a pretty simple question, but you figure it gives you a little more leeway to elaborate.

"Well, I didn't want to be the one wearing the least clothes of all of us," she begins to answer, "and you were wearing the most clothes of all of us, so you were an obvious target. Especially since spidertroll over here isn't wearing a bra." You can't believe you didn't notice that earlier. ( _Of course you noticed that earlier. Who are you trying to kid?_ )

"I could've taken my pants off, you know," Vriska offers. That's true. ( _Maybe you should make that your next dare. Hmhmhmhm..._ )

Terezi gags. "I've seen more of you without pants on than I ever really wanted to, Vriska."

Very amusing. But she's not telling the whole truth. "Are you attracted to me, Terezi?"

"What?!"

"Is that why you asked me to take my shirt off?" you press her, sitting up straighter and sticking your chest out a little. "I think it pertains to the question."

"She has a point, Terezi," Vriska backs you up. ( _So she's good for something after all._ ) "Answer it."

Terezi groans and looks away, her face flaring teal. "Alright, alright, fine," she says, then looks at you. "Yeah, I kind of am, okay? I just... blar." She turns away again, hunching her shoulders defensively. You smirk. You're kind of glad she said truth, actually. ( _You like seeing her flustered, don't you? You minx._ )

Vriska giggles to herself, then turns to you. "Alright, can I go now?"

"Go ahead."

She turns back to Terezi. "Terezi, truth or dare."

Terezi glares at her. "Dare."

Vriska grins and cracks her knuckles. "Alright, I... actually, you know what? I'm gonna save it. I'll probably need two dares for what I'm gonna ask for anyway."

"Save it? You can do that?" you ask.

"Hey, fine by me," Terezi says. "Vriska, truth or dare."

"Truth."

"Alright," she says, leaning forward. It looks like she's regained most of her confidence. "What's the deal with you and Kanaya?"

Vriska blinks. "What do you mean, what's the deal? She's my auspistice." She has an auspistice? ( _She's quite popular in the black quadrants, isn't she? Something to think about._ )

"I think we've firmly established at this point that 'what's the deal with you and her' means 'do you have a thing for her,'" you point out.

"Well, yeah, but obviously I have a thing for her," Vriska replies. "An ashen thing."

"But it's not nearly that simple," Terezi says. "For one, she's auspisticizing between you and your kismesis. That's not how it's supposed to work." That's true. ( _Maybe she's not satisfied with him._ ) ( _Oh, who the fuck are you kidding, she's_ definitely _not satisfied with him._ )

"It's a perfectly valid arrangement!" Vriska says defensively. "It's just that sometimes Eridan is kind of a tool, and we-"

"And furthermore!" Terezi interrupts her, "I don't think you and Kanaya are really ashen for each other at all!"

"What?!"

"Don't even try to deny it! The way she's always meddling in _your_ business over _his_ , it's more like she's your moirail than anything!"

Vriska scoffs loudly. "Okay, this is ridiculous. Look, I like Fussyfangs, alright? Despite her constant meddling, she's probably one of the most tolerable people I know. But if you think I'm pale for her, then you're crazy."

"Ah," Terezi says, raising an inquisitive finger and pointing it at her. "But I never said you were pale for her."

Vriska rolls her eyes. "You know, I'm convinced you're not saying anything at all."

"Come on. You like her? She's the most tolerable person you know? Coming from you, that's practically a friggin' sonnet."

"What the fuck are you implying, Terezi?"

"She's saying you're flushed for her," you conclude. Oh, this is getting _interesting_.

Vriska sputters something unintelligible. "Okay, first of all," she starts, turning to you, "you don't even _know_ Kanaya, so stay the fuck out of this!" She turns back to Terezi. "And second, I'm not flushed for her! She's my auspistice!"

Terezi doesn't look convinced. "Really? Because you're a very negative person, Vriska, and yet the only bad thing I've heard you say about her is that she's always meddling in your business, _which is her sole duty as your auspistice_!"

"Yeah, so what!" Vriska says. "That just means she's less of a terrible person than everybody else I know! It doesn't prove a thing!" And yet the cerulean streaking her cheeks is only growing darker.

"I've read that journal of yours, Vriska," Terezi says. "Surely you remember Mindfang's _other_ flushed interest? The beautiful slave with the most _unusual_ blood color?"

"The one who _dies_?" Vriska asks, a pained expression on her face. After a moment of awkward silence, she crosses her arms and looks away. "Look, it doesn't matter if I'm flushed for Kanaya or not. It's obviously not meant to be. And she obviously doesn't think of me like that, anyway, or she'd never settle for being my auspistice. No, she probably wants some precious little wiggler just like her who she can read books and play dress-up with." She looks back up at Terezi, glaring. "Does that answer your fucking question? Because I don't want to talk about this anymore."

Terezi hesitates a bit, looking like she regrets even asking. "Uh, yeah. Aradia, you're up."

"Okay." Hmmm, you're not sure if talking to Vriska at all right now would be the best idea. You think you'll stick with Terezi. "Terezi, truth or dare?"

"Truth." Still playing it safe, you see. But this last conversation _has_ piqued your interest...

"What's the deal with you and Vriska?"

They both blink at that one. ( _You're just full of surprises tonight, aren't you?_ ) "Are you asking if I have a thing for her?" Terezi asks.

"I'm asking what the deal is between you two," you repeat to her. "From your perspective."

"Okay, you know what?" Vriska asks, still crossing her arms, then leans back in her pile with an amused smirk. "I want to hear this one." ( _Collaborating again? You two are naturals._ )

Terezi shifts in her seat. "Well, I'm not really sure how much there is to say. I mean, we're friends. Good friends, I guess."

Vriska clears her throat. "Best friends."

"Right, best friends," Terezi assents. "We FLARP together all the time. Not really sure what else there is to constitute a 'deal.'"

She's being obtuse again. "You seem awfully interested in her romantic life."

"Well, look, if her auspistice isn't doing her job, what good is that gonna do anybody?" Terezi crosses her arms. "All it's going to do is make for a bunch of trouble."

"So you keep her out of trouble?" you ask.

"Yeah. So?"

"And you help keep her lusus fed," you note. "Do you bathe her too?" you ask teasingly. "Maybe do her laundry while you're at it?"

Terezi gives you an unimpressed glare. "Okay, I see what's going on here. You're accusing me of being pale for her."

"'Accusing' you?" Vriska butts in, clearly offended. "You make it sound like a crime." ( _It kind of is._ )

"Look, it's just not like that!" Terezi says to both of you. "We're just friends, that's all. And that's what friends do, they look out for each other."

"Really?" you question her. "Because you seem to relish in keeping her in line."

Vriska holds her arms up in a shrug. "You know, Terezi, if you _were_ pale for me, I would totally understand," she says. "You could do a lot worse. Hell, _I_ could do a lot worse!"

Terezi stares at her for a moment, blinking. "Seriously?" She shakes her head. "No, no, I'm not pale for you! End of story."

"Your loss," Vriska says, then looks at you. "My turn?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

She doesn't look away. "Okay, truth or dare?"

Well, _this_ is an interesting quandary. While you're still a little afraid of what she might dare you to do, the tone has shifted a little here. You kind of opened the floodgates with that last question, and if you say truth, she might ask something equally probing about you.

( _What if she asks what the deal is between you and Terezi?_ )

"Dare."

"Yeah!" Vriska says with a fistpump. "Alright, I've got the two dares I need, so listen up."

"Wait, hold on," you cut her off. "You have one dare for me and one for Terezi."

"Right, and that should be more than adequate, because this concerns you both," she answers. You and Terezi exchange a nervous glance.

"I dare you two to kiss each other."

" _What?!_ " you both shout simultaneously.

"Come on, what's wrong with that? I'm daring you to kiss her and you to kiss her," she says, pointing to both of you in turn. "What could be simpler?"

"But you can't make us do that!" you insist. "It's just... it's too much!"

Vriska rolls her eyes. "Oh, so Terezi ordering you to take your shirt off is fine, but I ask you to exchange an innocent little kiss, and suddenly it's too much?"

Terezi looks over at you. "She has a point, Aradia."

"What?" you say, giving Terezi a dirty look. ( _Does she_ want _you to kiss or something? The horror!_ )

"Look, maybe we should just get this over with," Terezi says. "It's not that big a deal."

"See, Aradia?" Vriska says with a smug grin. "Terezi is fine with it. And it really isn't that big a deal. Just one little kiss is all." She snaps her finger. "Oh, but no half-assing it. I'm spending two dares here, so I want a serious, honest-to-god kiss. With tongue. Eight seconds at the very least."

You gape at her in horror, then turn to Terezi, who just shrugs. "If you don't do it, she'll just think of something even worse for the both of us."

Well, she has a point there.

You sigh. "I guess I don't have a choice, do I?"

"Of course you have a choice!" Vriska assures you. "It's not like I get off on making girls kiss against their will. Well, okay, maybe I do a little, but I wouldn't do that to Terezi." ( _But Terezi's the willing one here..._ )

"Okay, fine," you say. "Let's just get this over with."

"Actually, you know what? Do it standing up," Vriska says, rising up herself.

You roll your eyes and let out an annoyed sigh, then stand up. Terezi quickly follows suit. "Any other orders, master?"

"Yeah, let me get my camera phone real quick."

"You don't get to record it!" Terezi says, sparing you the trouble.

"I know, god, I was just joking," Vriska says. "Anyway..." She motions her hands to the two of you, figuratively giving you the floor. You turn to Terezi.

She's smiling nervously. "Get this over with?"

You take a deep breath. "Yeah."

She leans toward you, and you lean toward her. She tilts her head to your left, and you tilt your head to your right. She closes her eyes, and you close yours. Your lips meet, and at that exact second, the gravity of the situation makes itself known to you.

You, Aradia Megido, are in the hive of Terezi Pyrope, and you are kissing her. You're not wearing a shirt, and the negligee she's wearing could count as half a garment at best. Vriska Serket is there, watching the entire thing.

And then Terezi slips her tongue into your mouth, and your brain shuts down for exactly two seconds.

One.

Two.

It's not really a _bad_ situation, all told. For the second time tonight, you find yourself not uncomfortable, but surprised. Though you kind of wish Vriska werent't there. Well, you _really_ wish Vriska weren't there. ( _Yes, just imagine what you and Terezi could be doing together if you had a little privacy._ )

Three.

Four.

Well, if she's going to put her tongue in your mouth, it's only proper that you should put yours in hers, right? Turnabout is fair play, after all. You slip it past hers, and she makes a surprised noise, but doesn't really protest. Well, that was easy enough.

Five.

Six.

Seven.

You kind of wish you could see what Vriska was doing right now, but you have your eyes closed. Of course you have your eyes closed, that's how they kiss in the movies. Besides, what could you even see? One of Terezi's eyes, maybe? Not both of them, Your heads aren't lined up right. ( _What a shame. She has such pretty eyes._ ) Really, though, you just want to keep an eye on Vriska. Who knows what she's up to.

Eight.

Nine.

Ten.

Wait, hold on. That's more than eight seconds. Why are you still kissing. Maybe Terezi doesn't know. No, you're pretty sure she knows. What do you do? Push her away? ( _No, don't push her away, you idiot._ ) Then what do you do? Maybe you should just wait. She'll realize her mistake eventually, right? ( _Maybe she won't. Maybe you will just kiss Terezi Pyrope until the world ends. Now wouldn't_ that _be something?_ )

Eleven.

Twelve.

Okay, she's not stopping. You have to stop this yourself. You gently place your hands on her shoulders, hoping she'll get the message. Thankfully, she does, and you feel her pull away, tongue withdrawing from your mouth. You open your eyes.

She's smiling.

You suddenly don't understand anything.

And then you hear clapping. "Alright, good show!"

_Vriska._

You turn to glare at her. "Okay, is that sufficient?" you ask sarcastically. "Was that a good enough kiss to satisfy your demands, Your Majesty?"

Vriska strokes her chin. "Nah, actually, it wasn't. Do it again."

"Fuck you!"

She puts her hands up at you. "Whoa, what's your problem, Megido? You're kind of freaking out."

"My problem is that you made us do this!" you growl at her. "It's just... it's horrible!"

"Was I that bad?" Terezi asks.

You turn to her. "No, it wasn't the kiss that was bad, it's..." You trail off. Just what are you so mad about? ( _You're mad that your first kiss with Terezi was tainted by_ her _._ )

"It's what, Aradia?" Vriska asks, crossing her arms. "Why are you flipping out after I asked you two to kiss, but you didn't speak up after you stripped for Pyrope here?"

"That was different!"

"How was that any different?" she asks. Terezi looks at you expectantly.

( _It's different because Terezi was the one asking._ )

"Just shut up!"

"Okay, Megido, just what the fuck is your problem with me?!" Vriska shouts, taking a step toward you. "You've had it out for me since day one!"

"Guys, please don't start fighting!" Terezi begs you, moving to step between the two of you, but Vriska pushes her away.

"Terezi, stay out of this!" she tells her. "I already have an auspistice!" She turns back to you, glaring. "Come on, out with it!"

"You want to know what my problem with you is?" you ask her. "Fine! My problem with you is that you're an annoying, narcissistic psychopath, _and_ a serial murderer on top of that!"

"A murderer? For fuck's sake, this is Alternia!" she fires back at you. "Everybody's a fucking murderer here! It's kill or be killed!"

"Yeah, but you take it too far! You're _especially_ horrible, even for a blueblood!" Terezi winces at that one.

"No, seriously, what it is?" Vriska asks. "Did I cull one of your friends or something? Maybe somebody at that big FLARP meetup a week ago?"

You blink. " _What_?" Oh god. The FLARP meetup. They were all culled by a bunch of highbloods, including a seadweller. Purple. _Fuck_. "That was _you_?!"

"Yeah, so what?"

"So I _did_ have friends there! And you killed them all! You and your seadweller kismesis and..." No. Oh god, no. "Terezi?"

A look of horror comes over Terezi's face. "No, Aradia, I didn't-"

Suddenly, the gravity of the _actual_ situation makes itself known to you. You, a maroon-blood, name utterly unimportant, are in the hive of a teal-blood mass murderer, alongside her cerulean-blood mass murderer accomplice. You're not wearing a shirt, and at any moment one of them could drive a bladed weapon into your chest, killing you instantly, and the entirety of existence would go on without anyone batting an eyelash. All around you, you can sense the lingering spirits of their victims, _her_ victims, including the ones she _did_ hang from the treetops, before Vriska came to collect them.

And the worst part is, you _trusted_ her. Like a fucking _idiot_.

You take a few steps backward, through the pile of scalemates, not taking your eyes off either of them. With a quick flare of your psionics, you pick your pajama top up off the ground, then hastily slip it on. There's no emotion on your face but fear, and they can both see that. Vriska glares at you like you're an animal, but Terezi looks at you pleadingly. "Aradia, please, let me explain."

You don't give her the chance. Your fight or flight mechanism kicks in, and you know you have no chance against the both of them, so your eyes lock on the hallway. With as powerful a burst of psionics as you can muster at once, you hurl yourself around them and scramble for the exit. "Aradia!" Terezi calls out after you, but you don't listen. You burst out of the door and fly, up through the foliage and over the canopy, back toward your hive.

Idiot.

_Idiot._

( _You are an idiot._ )

( _But not for the reasons you think._ )

***

When you get back to your hive, there's a message waiting for you. Oh great, it's from _her_.

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA].  
  
GC: 4R4D14  
GC: 1 KNOW YOU PROB4BLY DONT W4NT TO T4LK TO M3 R1GHT NOW  
GC: BUT 1 W4NT3D 4 CH4NC3 TO 3XPL41N  
GC: 1 D1DNT H3LP VR1SK4 W1TH TH3 SL4UGHT3R 4T TH4T FL4RP M33TUP  
GC: 1T W4S JUST H3R 4ND H34 K1SM3S1S  
GC: 1N F4CT, 1 D1DNT 3V3N KNOW 4BOUT 1T UNT1L YOU M3NT1ON3D 1T!  
GC: BUT  
GC: TH4TS NOT 4NY 3XCUS3  
GC: 1TS ST1LL MY F4ULT, 1N 4 W4Y  
GC: NO, 1N 3V3RY W4Y  
GC: VR1SK4 1S MY R3SPONS1B1L1TY  
GC: 4ND 1 SHOULDVE K3PT B3TT3R CONTROL OF H3R  
GC: 1M SORRY  
GC: SO 1F YOU H4T3 M3 4ND YOU N3V3R W4NT TO SP34K TO M3 4G41N, 1 UND3RST4ND  
GC: BUT 1 JUST W4NT3D YOU TO KNOW TH3 TRUTH  
GC: B3C4US3  
GC: 1 DONT KNOW

You stare at the message for a few seconds.

apocalypseArisen [AA] blocked gallowsCalibrator [GC].  


No.

You're done with this. You're done with Terezi Pyrope and all of her lies. Because that's all any of this ever was: a great big lie. She's just another blueblood. Just another oppressor in a world of oppressors. Somehow, you thought she might be different. You thought she might actually be a decent person, but no, she's just another full-time liar and part-time murderer. You were so stupid to ever l... to ever trust her. But now it's over, and you're done with her. Oh well. It was an enjoyable reprieve from destitution while it lasted. You'd almost managed to savor it. An error narrowly avoided.

But...

But if it _was_ all a lie, then what was the point of any of this? What was the point of becoming friends with you? What was the point of FLARPing with you? What was the point of giving you a priceless poster signed by a movie star? What was the point of inviting you to her hive? If she wanted to cull you, she could've done it at any time. And it's not like you have anything she could steal from you, except for one thing, and you ended up giving that to her. So what was the point? Why did she do any of this?

( _Because she loves you, you fucking idiot!_ )

You don't understand. But then, you don't really understand Terezi, either.

( _You're not listening to me, are you?_ )

She probably had some ulterior motive. You don't know what it is. You don't care. You're done with her. You're _done._

Some time passes. You don't know how much. You don't really care. You've got, what, maybe a dozen or two sweeps left on this miserable rock? Maybe even less if you're lucky? And then it's all over. You can check out of this pitiful existence and into the afterlife. Of course, knowing your luck, as soon as you step foot in it, you'll somehow find a way to die _again_. Taken out of the game, then taken out of the removed-from-game zone and put into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone. It's just as well, you suppose. The afterlife probably isn't any better.

Oh, great, it looks like Sollux is bugging you. What does he want?

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA].  
  
TA: hey aa, what'2 up?  
AA: n0thing  
TA: really?  
TA: how about your thiing wiith tz la2t niight, how diid that go?  
AA: i d0nt want t0 talk ab0ut it  
AA: in fact i d0nt want t0 talk ab0ut terezi  
AA: ever  
AA: im d0ne with her  
TA: oh.  
TA: well 2hiit, what happened?  
AA: i just said i d0nt want t0 talk ab0ut it  
TA: oh, riight.  
AA: but l0ng st0ry sh0rt  
AA: i trusted her  
AA: and i sh0uldnt have  
AA: i th0ught she was different and i was wr0ng  
AA: i sh0uldve listened t0 the v0ices  
AA: they t0ld me n0t t0 listen t0 her  
AA: just t0 l00k 0ut f0r vriska  
AA: and when the time came i w0uld kn0w what t0 d0  
AA: but i guess its t00 late n0w  
AA: i gave terezi pyr0pe the time 0f day and n0w i guess the w0rld is g0ing t0 end a little s00ner than it sh0uldve  
AA: 00ps  
TA: wow, holy fuck.  
TA: aa, are you alriight? you're kiind of 2oundiing liike me riight now.  
TA: that'2 a bad thiing, by the way.  
AA: im fine  
AA: im 0k  
TA: look, maybe you 2hould talk two tz.  
AA: n0  
TA: two be hone2t, ii've been talkiing two her.  
TA: 2he'2 really up2et about whatever happened la2t niight.  
AA: is she mad  
TA: no, 2he ju2t want2 two talk two you.  
AA: well i d0nt want t0 talk t0 her  
AA: s0 t00 bad  
AA: end 0f discussi0n  
TA: you're not even wiilliing two talk about thii2 a liitle?  
AA: n0  
AA: is that all y0u want t0 talk about  
TA: pretty much, yeah, iit'2 kiind of a biig deal.  
AA: then this c0nversati0n is 0ver  
TA: aa, waiit.  
  
apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]. 

Ugh. Now she's gotten to Sollux. That's one less friend you can talk to. So now what? Who cares. You guess you'll just sit here until existence ceases completely.

Tick tock tick tock tick tock.

Waiting for the apocalypse is so boooooring.

Someone else bugs you. Don't these people ever let up? Sollux was just bugging you... you don't know how long ago. You're not keeping track of time anymore. You could be blazing through your anemic lifespan at perigees a second and you wouldn't care. You just _don't care_. As far as you're concerned, time can keep itself. You don't have to wait on it hand and foot like a fucking maid. But you supppose if you don't answer this person, they'll bug you for eternity. Or until the world ends.

Oh wow, you're _really_ not in the mood to talk to her. But then, you don't really have a choice in the matter.

arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA].  
  
AC: :33 < *ac furry silently and sneakily cr33ps up on an unsuspecting aa*  
AC: :33 < *she crouches down and wiggles her butt in a catlike manner, purrparing to pounce*  
AC: :33 < *if aa doesnt doesnt do something soon, shes going to fall victim to one of the most vicious pouncegr33ts efur purrformed!*  
AA: nepeta im n0t in the m00d t0 r0leplay right n0w  
AC: :33 < are you sure?  
AC: :33 < not even a little?  
AA: yes im sure  
AC: :33 < ugh :((  
AC: :33 < now there isnt anyone i can roleplay with!  
AC: :33 < even terezi isnt in the mood fur it fur some reason, and she usually wants to roleplay as much as i do!  
AA: can we please n0t talk ab0ut terezi  
AC: :33 < why not?  
AA: can we please n0t talk ab0ut that either  
AC: :33 < okay what is going on here?  
AC: :33 < terezi was talking about how she was inviting you to this big sl33pofur  
AC: :33 < and now she is depurressed, and youre in a bad mood  
AC: :33 < did something happen betw33n you two?  
AA: what happened was i realized shes a danger0us bluebl00d psych0path wh0 murders pe0ople f0r fun  
AC: :33 < thats not true!  
AC: :33 < terezis not a psychopath  
AC: :33 < maybe she does kill some people, but only the ones who deserve it!  
AA: whatever  
AA: shes just an0ther highbl00d  
AA: i was stupid t0 ever think she was any different  
AC: :33 < but she is diffurent!  
AC: :33 < you shouldnt just write her off aradia  
AC: :33 < she is a good purrson, really!  
AA: d0nt try t0 change my mind nepeta  
AA: its t00 late  
AA: im d0ne with her  
AC: :33 < well shes not done with you!  
AC: :33 < shes b33n really depressed after whatever happened betw33n you two happened  
AA: why w0uld she be depressed  
AA: she still has her best friend vriska d0esnt she  
AC: :33 < shes depressed because she likes you!  
AA: i d0nt care  
AC: :33 < aradia, you should just talk to her  
AA: n0  
AA: im d0ne with her  
AA: im just  
AA: im d0ne  
  
apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]. 

All of your friends are so terrible. Is this all they want to talk about? Then you don't want to talk to them. You don't want to talk to anyone. All you want to do is wait here and watch the entropy in the system slowly pile up until the entirety of existence comes crashing down. Is that really so much to ask? A moment of silence for the impending death of the universe?

Someone else bothers you. For fuck's sake, who is it this time? Is it her? Or is it _her_? No, it looks like this time, it's...

Oh. It's him.

Well... okay, maybe you could talk to _him_.

adiosToreador [AT] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA].  
  
AT: hEY, aRADIA, sO,  
AT: i HAVE HEARD, rECENTLY,  
AT: oR AT THE VERY LEAST, gOTTEN THE GENERAL IMPRESSION,  
AT: tHAT YOU HAVE BEEN IN A MOOD, tHAT IS SOMEWHAT POOR,  
AT: aND THAT SOUNDS PRETTY TERRIBLE, aT LEAST TO ME,  
AT: bUT IT MAKES ME WONDER IF, mAYBE, tHERE IS A THING i CAN DO ABOUT IT,  
AT: sO i GUESS WHAT i'M ASKING, iS,  
AT: iS THERE ANYTHING i CAN DO TO EASE YOUR MIND?  
AA: 0h  
AA: tavr0s  
AT: yES,  
AA: hi  
AT: hELLO,  
AA: well  
AA: i have been in a bad m00d recently  
AT: wHAT'S THE MATTER,  
AA: i  
AA: i d0nt really want t0 talk ab0ut it  
AT: oKAY, tHAT'S FINE, i GUESS,  
AT: yOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT, iF THAT'S A THING, yOU DON'T WANT TO DO,  
AT: i DON'T WANT TO PRY,  
AT: bECAUSE i ASSUME THAT PRY1NG, iS SOMETHING YOU DON'T WANT ME TO DO,  
AT: bUT MAYBE THAT ASSUMPTION IS,  
AT: nOT A GOOD ASSUMPTION TO MAKE,  
AA: haha  
AA: well i might be 0k with y0u prying  
AA: but its still kind 0f a s0re subject  
AT: oKAY THEN, i WON'T PRY,  
AT: i WILL TAKE THE CROWBAR, tHAT i HAD PROCURED FOR THE OCCASION,  
AT: aND PLACE IT SECURELY BACK IN THE HARDWARE STORAGE CASE, fROM WHICH i HAD PREVIOUSLY OBTAINED IT,  
AT: fOR SAFEKEEPING, yOU UNDERSTAND,  
AA: ha  
AA: yes i understand  
AT: sO, iT BEING THE CASE THAT, pRYING IS SOMETHING I'M NOT DOING,  
AT: iS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I COULD DO,  
AT: tO BRING YOU SOME SORT OF COMFORT, pERHAPS,  
AT: sINCE i AM YOUR FRIEND, aND YOUR COMFORT IS DEFINITELY A THING THAT CONCERNS ME,  
AA: well  
AA: maybe  
AT: wOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY A GAME, pERHAPS,  
AT: mAYBE A QUICK CYBERSTRIFE OF fIDUSPAWN,  
AA: n0 i d0nt think that w0uld help  
AA: y0ure way better at fiduspawn than i am  
AT: wELL, i DO NOT LIKE TO BRAG,  
AT: bUT i SUPPOSE WHEN IT COMES TO fIDUSPAWN, i AM SIMPLY THE BEST THERE IS,  
AT: mAYBE SOMETHING ELSE, tHEN,  
AT: hOW ABOUT A GAME OF flarp,  
AA: im n0t flarping anym0re  
AT: yOU'RE NOT,  
AA: n0  
AA: im s0rry t0 say that 0ur little arrangement with the sc0urge sisters is 0ver  
AA: ive pretty much seen t0 that  
AT: wELL,  
AT: i DIDN'T MEAN WITH THEM, iN PARTICULAR,  
AT: wE COULD JUST HAVE A GAME, bETWEEN YOU AND ME,  
AA: 0h  
AA: i guess that w0uldnt be s0 bad  
AT: iN FACT, i KIND OF HAVE SOMETHING PREPARED,  
AT: a SCENARIO i DEVISED, iN CASE OF A RAINY DAY, fIGURATIVELY SPEAKING,  
AT: lITERALLY SPEAKING, iT WOULD NOT BE GOOD FOR A RAINY DAY, bECAUSE YOU WOULD GET ALL WET WHILE YOU WERE DOING IT,  
AT: bUT GIVEN THAT THIS IS A FIGURATIVE RAINY DAY, aND NOT SIMULTANEOUSLY A LITERAL ONE, i BELIEVE THIS IS THE OPTIMAL POINT, aT WHICH TO RUN IT,  
AA: 0h  
AA: y0u have a scenari0 prepared?  
AT: yES,  
AT: i WILL BE CLOUDING FOR YOU, iF THAT'S OKAY,  
AA: yes thats fine  
AT: oKAY, gREAT,  
AT: hOW ABOUT WE MEET WHERE WE USUALLY DO,  
AT: aT THE CLEARING, wITH THE BIG STUMP IN IT,  
AA: well  
AA: 0k i guess  
AT: eXCELLENT,  
AT: yOU SHOULD PROBABLY GO ON AHEAD,  
AT: i WILL STILL NEED SOME TIME, tO PUPATE THE GRUBS, aND WHATNOT,  
AA: 0h 0k  
AT: bUT BEFORE YOU GO,  
AT: jUST ONE THING,  
AA: what is it  
AT: wELL,  
AT: tHIS SCENARIO MAY NOT BE THE BEST,  
AT: aND YOU MIGHT NOT ENJOY IT, aT LEAST, aT FIRST,  
AT: bUT i THINK IT WILL BE FOR THE BEST, iF YOU STICK WITH IT,  
AT: cAN YOU PROMISE ME YOU'LL DO THAT,  
AA: yes 0f c0urse  
AA: i pr0mise tavr0s  
AT: gREAT, }:)  
AT: aNYWAY, gO ON AHEAD,  
AA: 0k sure  
AA: well ill see y0u there!  
AT: yES, mAYBE,  
AT: bYE,  
  
adiosToreador [AT] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]. 

Well... you have nothing to lose, you guess.

***

As you sit on the stump in the middle of the clearing (the clearing where you met Terezi for the second time, you remember, then quickly push out of your mind), knees drawn up and arms wrapped around them, you begin to feel incredibly silly. Your life isn't over. Why were you acting like it was? You still have Tavros. You still have Sollux. You still have your entire life ahead of you, and you're going to live it, whether any bluebloods have a problem with it or not. You don't need them, anyway. You don't need Terezi. You're fine.

( _Then why do you feel so empty?_ )

Soon Tavros will show up, and you two will FLARP together, and it will be just like old times. Everything will be back to normal. Maybe even better than normal. Who knows?

You hear rustling from a copse of particularly bushy trees nearby. You slide your legs off the trunk and stand up. "Tavros?"

"Not quite."

Oh god, it's _her_.

Vriska Serket steps out of the foliage, pushing a few branches back and out of her way, and into the clearing.

Your hair stands on end for a moment as you prepare your psionics. "Vriska! What are you doing here?! Where's Tavros?!"

"He's not here," she tells you flatly, clearly not impressed.

"What do you mean, he's not here?" you demand, taking a step forward. "What did you do to him?!"

Vriska rolls her eyes. "I didn't do anything to him! When I said he wasn't here, I meant _he wasn't here_. He's not coming."

You glare at her. "So it was a trick," you conclude. "You mind controlled him to get me to come out here!"

She raises a finger to protest. "Half right," she says. "It was a trick, but I didn't mind control him. I asked him to do it."

"Bullshit."

"I'm serious!" she insists. "I told him I needed to meet with you, and this was the only way I could get you to do it. Anyway, you promised you'd stick with it, remember?"

You _did_ say that. But still, you don't like this. She could be telling the truth, but it's equally likely that she was controlling Tavros for that entire conversation. Maybe she's controlling him right now. Maybe this is a hostage situation and you don't even realize it. Shit. You don't really have a choice but to stay.

"Fine, I'm here," you tell her. "Now what do you want? Do you want to kill me?"

Vriska scoffs. "Aradia, if I wanted to kill you, do you really think I'd just walk out here and talk to you, alone and unarmed? Give me a little credit." She looks away. "And anyway, killing you would just make things even worse."

You blink. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, if I killed you, then Terezi would be even more pissed off at me!" she answers.

"Even more..." You take a second to process what she's saying. "Wait, she's mad at _you_?"

"Of course she's mad at me!" Vriska shouts, throwing up her arms in frustration. "She blames me for driving you out of her life. She hasn't even spoken to me since the slumber party."

"But..." You don't believe what you're hearing. "Why would she care more about me than she does about you? You're her best friend, and I'm just some stupid rustblood."

Vriska slaps a hand over her eyes. "Oh my god, you cannot possibly be this dense," she mutters. Then she puts her hand down and shouts, "Because she loves you, you fucking idiot!"

( _See, what did I tell you?_ )

You stare at her for a moment in shock. "She does?"

"Of course she does!" Vriska answers. "I told you, she's completely obsessed with you. For fuck's sake, that entire slumber party was just one big attempt to seduce you."

"What?"

She crosses her arms. "What, you think she was wearing that nighty for my sake?" You can't come up with a response. "That's why I dared you two to kiss. I figured you were gonna do it anyway."

"Well, when you did that, you ruined everything!" you say to her, glaring.

"No, _you_ ruined everything when you overreacted!" she fires back at you.

"Ugh, why are you even telling me this?" you ask. "Why are you even talking to me? Why should I trust you?"

"What, you think I'm lying?"

"You're a murderer," you spit at her. "And as far as I know, Terezi is too."

"No she isn't!" Vriska yells. "She wasn't at that FLARP meetup! It was just me and Eridan."

You cross your arms and look away. "Yeah, well..." You want to believe her. But... "But she could've stopped you, and she didn't. As far as I'm concerned, that makes her complicit."

Vriska glares at you. "You're wrong."

"Why?"

"Because she couldn't have stopped me," she replies. "She didn't know I was planning it. She didn't even know about the FLARP meeting! It was just some podunk get-together out in the middle of nowhere, I figured she'd never hear about it. And believe me, she was fucking _furious_ when she found out."

You look down at the ground. She continues. "Look, if you want to hate somebody for this, hate me. I'm used to people hating me, I can handle it. But don't hate her for something she didn't do. She deserves better than that."

She's right. You know she is.

( _You already knew she was. Why didn't you just listen to me the first time?_ )

You look up at Vriska. "Why are you doing this?"

She shrugs. "I just don't want her to be mad at me."

"No, that's not it," you say. "You're used to people hating you. You can handle it. But why can't you handle it from her?"

Vriska sighs through her teeth and looks away. "Look, she's my friend, alright?" she answers. "She looks out for me, and I'm supposed to look out for her." She looks back at you. "It's the same reason Tavros asked you to come out here."

"Oh." You think you understand.

"Now are you gonna go talk to Terezi?" she asks. "Or are you just gonna stand here and ask me questions all night?"

You _should_ go talk to Terezi. But since she gave you the invitation, there is one thing you'd like to ask her about... "Just one more question, actually."

She sighs and rolls her eyes. "Fine, what is it?"

"Eridan," you answer. "Why is he your kismesis?" She looks like she's about to say something, but catches herself. You think you already know the answer anyway. "Your ancestor?"

"Yeah," Vriska admits.

You roll your eyes back at her. "Vriska, the point of history isn't to just mindlessly repeat the mistakes of the past," you tell her, and you slowly begin to walk toward her. "It's to learn from those mistakes so you can avoid them in the future."

She takes a step back, looking a little unsettled. "What are you trying to say?"

"What I'm trying to say," you begin to answer, "is that fate isn't something that's just handed to you. It's something you create for yourself." You grab her by her shirt and pull her toward you, her face just inches from yours. "So you need to stop basing all your life decisions on some dead lady's fucking diary."

And then you kiss her. You nip at her lips, coaxing her into parting them enough to slip your tongue in. Cerulean blood dribbles into your mouth, and you swear you've never tasted anything so sweet. Soon she's kissing back, her tongue sparring with yours, her own fangs gnashing at your lips ( _fuck_ , those things are sharp), and you've never loved to hate someone as much as you love how much you hate her right now. While she continues to fight from the neck up, you can feel the rest of her body going limp, submitting to the moment. She'd probably be content to kiss you until the world ends, but you've got things to do. You toss her on the ground, and she looks up at you, dazed, her mouth stained red and blue and purple. ( _The right shade of purple this time._ )

"Tell that to Eridan," you say, and wipe your own mouth off with the back of your hand, "and to your 'auspistice,' too."

Without even waiting for a response, you turn and fly to Terezi's hive.

( _About time you started listening to me._ )

***

You're standing at Terezi's doorstep once again. You can feel the spirits here. They're telling you that you should leave. That you shouldn't be here. That Terezi can't be trusted. That you're merely postponing the inevitable by continuing with this farce.

You block them out. You're done making choices based on what dead people think. That's something Vriska does.

( _It's something she_ used _to do. Until you set her straight._ )

Fuck the voices. You ring the doorbell.

After a while (seventeen seconds, maybe? You've stopped counting), the door opens, and Terezi jumps when she sees you. "Aradia!"

"Terezi," you acknowledge, and an uncomfortable silence follows.

Terezi shifts a little. "Look, I'm-"

"No, _I'm_ sorry," you cut her off. She has nothing to apologize for. "For what happened at the... for what I did at the slumber party last night."

"It was two nights ago, actually."

Seriously? You lost track of a whole _day_? Whatever. "Right, anyway, I... overreacted."

"You didn't overreact," she replies. "You had every right to assume I was just as bad as Vriska."

"But I didn't!" you insist. "I should've given you a chance to explain yourself. I mean, you weren't even there, it was just her and Eridan!"

Terezi looks down at the floor. "Even if I didn't kill anybody myself, it's still my fault. I should've been able to stop her."

"You didn't know."

"Then I should've known!" she shouts, looking up at you.

"Terezi, she went behind your back," you tell her. "You can't blame yourself for not catching her."

"Yes I can! She was my responsibility!"

"She wasn't your responsibility!" you shout. "Not back then!" She hesitates, so you go on. "If you want to make her your responsibility now, that's fine."

"Is it?" Terezi asks. "Because I'm not sure I want that responsibility if..." She trails off, looking down once more.

You look at her quizzically. "If what?"

She looks up at you. "If it means I can't be friends with you."

"Terezi, I'm not going to ask you to choose between me and Vriska."

"But I have to, don't I?" she asks you. "You two can't stand each other! You're at each other's throats all the time! And I... I can't be your auspistice. I won't."

"We don't need an auspistice," you tell her. "Look, I recently came to terms with my..." You look away, a little embarrassed. "My feelings for Vriska."

She raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" Instead of saying anything, you just raise the back of your hand to her, smeared with red and blue blood. "Oh," she says, looking surprised. "When did that happen?"

"About five minutes ago," you answer with a smirk.

She laughs a little. "You work fast."

You grab one of her hands in both of your own. "Listen, Terezi," you say, looking her in the eyes, "I'm sorry. I should've trusted you. After all you've done for me, I owe you that much."

"You..." Terezi starts, but you're not backing down from your apology, and from the look in her eyes, she can tell. So she simply says, "I forgive you."

"Thank you," you say, bowing your head and closing your eyes.

( _Well, that's not_ all _you came here for, is it?_ )

"Terezi, listen," you say, looking back up at her. "I have to be honest with you. Apologizing isn't the only reason I came over here."

She looks at you curiously. "Oh?"

"Well..."

( _Go on._ )

You look away. "I know this might sound sudden, given that we've only known each other for about a week, but..."

You feel yourself start to blush. She's looking at you expectantly. She must already know what you're going to say, but she's still waiting for you to say it.

( _So just say it._ )

You look her in the eyes. "I love you."

Terezi's mouth opens, but no sound comes out. "Really?" she manages after a moment, disbelieving but hopeful.

"Yes, really," you answer, still staring into her eyes intently. God, she has pretty eyes. "I don't know exactly when it happened, but I know why. I mean, you're really charming and intelligent, but more than that..." You look away for a second. "I used to think all bluebloods were liars and backstabbers, but you're completely different. You're not anything like any of the other highbloods I've ever interacted with. You're a genuinely good person, and that's what I love about you."

She blinks in surprise, probably not accustomed to receiving so much praise at once. "Th-thank you," she stammers, then looks down, a faint blush lighting up her face. "But I have to be honest with you too, Aradia."

"What is it?" you ask, but you're pretty sure you already know what she's going to say. (At least, you _hope_ that's what she's going to say.)

She looks up at you. "I love you too."

( _Now, see what happens when you listen to me?_ )

Your mouth breaks into a grin. "Really?"

"Yeah, really!" she answers, mirroring your smile.

"Even though I'm a lowblood?" you feel the need to ask.

"I don't care about that!" she practically shouts, putting her other hand on both of yours and shaking them. "It's never mattered to me what color your blood is. I don't even believe in the Hemospectrum! Most of the highbloods I know _are_ liars and backstabbers. The Hemospectrum doesn't make them better than anyone. It just gives them the power to push people around."

You think you just fell in love with her again.

She looks down. "I know you don't have any reason to believe me, but I'd never mistreat someone just because they're lower on the spectrum than me. There's no justice in that."

"I believe you," you say. "I'm sorry I didn't before. You've never done wrong by Nepeta or Sollux, so why should I be any different?"

"You _are_ different," she tells you, looking into your eyes again. "They're my friends, but you're... more than that."

( _You hear that? More than friends. Now make it official._ )

"Terezi, maybe it's too soon to ask this," you say, grasping her hands firmly again, "but I have to know the answer now. Can I be your matesprit?"

She blinks. "Would you?"

"Of course," you answer. "In an instant."

"Then yes!"

You smile so widely, you feel like your face is going to split apart. You release your hold on Terezi's hands and throw your arms around her shoulders, pulling her into a tight hug. "Thank you," you whisper, and you can feel yourself tearing up.

"Don't thank me, idiot," Terezi chides you softly. "I didn't give you anything you didn't already have." You just stand there holding her for a while, taking in the feel of her, the smell of her, the _sense_ of her, the face under the mask, without any of the haze of death clouding it. She is beautiful in every sense of the word. You love her.

After a while, the two of you pull away, and she looks at you expectantly, an enigmatic smirk on her face. "Well?"

You blink at her. "What?"

"Aren't you going to kiss me?"

"Oh, right, of course," you answer, but as she leans toward you, you pull back. "But before I do, I want to ask you a question."

She looks at you quizzically, and you swear her mouth almost curls into a question mark. "What is it?"

"The first time we kissed," you begin, "we only had to kiss for eight seconds. But you kissed me for twelve. Why?"

Terezi laughs. "Correction: _I_ kissed _you_ for twelve seconds," she says. "You didn't start kissing back until four seconds in."

You laugh too. It's ridiculous logic, but you're sure it's exactly the kind Vriska would resort to. "I guess you've got a point."

"Now let's do it again," she advises you, and gives you a friendly glare. "And don't count it out this time."

"Fine," you say with a smile. You don't really need to, anyway. As far as you're concerned, time can keep itself. You don't need to wait on it hand and foot like a fucking maid.

You kiss Terezi Pyrope until the world ends.

( _That's not entirely accurate._ )

( _You kiss Vriska plenty of times too._ )


End file.
